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The diagram shows the stages and equipment used in the process of cement making and how cement is used to produce the concrete for building purposes. v.2

The diagram shows the stages and equipment used in the process of cement making and how cement is used to produce the concrete for building purposes. v. 2
The given diagram illustrates the information about procedure of cement production and concrete production by using types of equipments and distinct stages. The first diagram shows that, to produce cement first step is crashing of limestone and clay and produced powder from this is passed through a mixture. After that, the powder via rotating heater where heat is constantly given. Then, the material is passed in grinder machine for the final touch. The cement is then packed and ready to go for selling in the market. The second diagram reviews, how the concrete is produced for building work. In the first stage, 15 % cement, 10 % water, 25 % sand and 50 % stones are mixed clockwise in concrete mixture. After all this production of concrete take place.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram illustrates the information about procedure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
production and concrete production by using types of equipments and distinct stages.

The
first
diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that, to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
first
step is crashing of limestone and clay and produced powder from this
is passed
through a mixture. After that, the powder via rotating heater where heat is
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. Then, the material
is passed
in grinder machine for the final touch. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is then packed and ready to go for selling in the market.

The second diagram reviews, how the concrete
is produced
for building work. In the
first
stage, 15 %
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, 10 % water, 25 % sand and 50 % stones
are mixed
clockwise in concrete mixture.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
all this production of concrete take place.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS academic The diagram shows the stages and equipment used in the process of cement making and how cement is used to produce the concrete for building purposes. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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