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The line graph shows the number of trips to other countries by UK residents for various purposes between 1989 and 2001 v.2

The line graph shows the number of trips to other countries by UK residents for various purposes between 1989 and 2001 v. 2
The line graph and the table give information about the number of foreign tours that the UK citizens took place for 4 distinct purposes from 1992 to 2001. Overall, it is clear that the UK people prefered traveling abroad on holidays to the remaining reasons. Besides, the number of trips was the highest in the UK in the 1989-2001 period. At the starting point in 1989, the holidays was the major reason why people traveled abroad with 30 million trips, which was significantly higher than other reasons, roughly 8 million trips for the business, around 5 million trips for the family visits and the other purposes. In spite of a sharp decreasing trend from 1998, the figure of the holidays was approximately 40 million journeys, compared to 12 million trips for the family visits and 8 million trips for the business and about 2 million trips for other purposes. Additionally, it is clear that the total number of trips had a dramatic growth from 47 million in 1989 to 73. 5 million in 1998, which was the highest figure in the table. Nevertheless, the figure suddenly dropped to 61 in 2001 along with the rapid decrease of tours for the holidays.
The line graph and the table give information about the number of foreign tours that the UK citizens took place for 4 distinct purposes from 1992 to 2001.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
traveling abroad on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
to the remaining reasons.
Besides
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
was the highest in the UK in the 1989-2001 period.

At the starting point in 1989, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
was the major reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
traveled abroad with 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
, which was
significantly
higher than other reasons, roughly 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
for the business, around 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
for the family visits and the other purposes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
a sharp decreasing trend from 1998, the figure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
was approximately 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
journeys, compared to 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
for the family visits and 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
for the business and about 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
for other purposes.

Additionally
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the total number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
had a dramatic growth from 47
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1989 to 73. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1998, which was the highest figure in the table.
Nevertheless
, the figure
suddenly
dropped to 61 in 2001 along with the rapid decrease of tours for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The line graph shows the number of trips to other countries by UK residents for various purposes between 1989 and 2001 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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