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The graph below shows the amount of electricity produced from different energy sources to supply the city of New York between 1980 and 2000. v.2

The graph below shows the amount of electricity produced from different energy sources to supply the city of New York between 1980 and 2000. v. 2
The line graph gives information about the electric productivity by distinct origins to provide for New York from 1980 to 2000. Overall, while the amount of electricity made from petroleum and natural gas had increasing trends in the 1980 – 2000 period, the figure of the coal decreased slightly. The petroleum was the source of supplying electricity which had the highest productivity from 1980 to 2000. At the starting point in 1980, about 350 million KwH was made from petroleum which was higher than those of both the coal and the natural gas, at only roughly 200 million KwH and exactly 100 million KwH, respectively. After a significant decreasing trend from 1985 to 1990, New York witnessed a sharp growth of the amount of electricity derived from petroleum which was peaked in 2000, at approximately 720 KwH. In 1985, New York was supplied 100 million KwH of electricity that contributed from natural gas, which was lower than the figure of coal, at nearly 300 KwH. However, the trend of using electricity made from coal dropped to around 200 KwH in 2000, compared to precisely 500 KwH of the natural gas, a considerable difference by 300 KwH.
The line graph gives information about the electric productivity by distinct origins to provide for New York from 1980 to 2000.

Overall
, while the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
made from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petroleum
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
had increasing trends in the 1980 – 2000 period, the figure of the coal decreased
slightly
. The
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petroleum
was the source of supplying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
which had the highest productivity from 1980 to 2000.

At the starting point in 1980, about 350
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
KwH
was made
from
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petroleum
which was higher than those of both the coal and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
roughly 200
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
KwH
and exactly 100
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
KwH
,
respectively
. After a significant decreasing trend from 1985 to 1990, New York witnessed a sharp growth of the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
derived from
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petroleum
which
was peaked
in 2000, at approximately 720
Possible spelling mistake found.
KwH
.

In 1985, New York
was supplied
100
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
KwH
of
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electricity
that contributed from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
, which was lower than the figure of coal, at
nearly
300
Possible spelling mistake found.
KwH
.
However
, the trend of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
made from coal dropped to around 200
Possible spelling mistake found.
KwH
in 2000, compared to
precisely
500
Possible spelling mistake found.
KwH
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
, a considerable difference by 300
Possible spelling mistake found.
KwH
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The graph below shows the amount of electricity produced from different energy sources to supply the city of New York between 1980 and 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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