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The line graph shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. v.2

The line graph shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. v. 2
The plotted line graph illustrates that the number of foreigners travelled to Australia in the given period while the table describes that the number of persons from six countries ( South Korea, Japan, China, USA, Britain and Europe) explored Australia in 1975 and 2005. Overall, there had been a significant surge in the strength of people who had been to Australia over the period. The line graph entitles that 10 million people drew to Australia in 1975. Then, the figure sharply increased by 5 million in 1985, which further dramatically rose to almost 25 million in 1995. In 2005, a similar trend was observed with an enhancement of 6 million in the figure. While regarding the table, the highest escalation in the figure of Japanese fir their visit to Australia was almost four times in 2005 as compared to 3. 2 million in 1975. Similarly, the strength of tourists from the other five countries was remarkably soared by three times in the 30 years.
The plotted line graph illustrates that the number of foreigners travelled to Australia in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period while the table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
that the number of persons from six countries
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
South Korea, Japan, China, USA, Britain and Europe) explored Australia in 1975 and 2005.

Overall
, there had been a significant surge in the strength of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who had been to Australia over the period.

The line graph entitles that 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
drew to Australia in 1975. Then, the figure
sharply
increased by 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1985, which
further
dramatically
rose to almost 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1995. In 2005, a similar trend
was observed
with an enhancement of 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in the figure.

While regarding the table, the highest escalation in the figure of Japanese fir their visit to Australia was almost four times in 2005 as compared to 3. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1975.
Similarly
, the strength of tourists from the other five countries was
remarkably
soared by three times in the 30 years.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS academic The line graph shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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