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The bar chart below shows the passenger kilometers travelled by different means of transport in the UK in 1990 and 2000. v.2

The bar chart below shows the passenger kilometers travelled by different means of transport in the UK in 1990 and 2000. v. 2
The given bar chart well compare the quantity of passenger kilometers by each selected means of transport ( bicycle, motorbike, air, bus, and rail) and total of passenger kilometers in the UK between 1990 and 2000. Overall, it is noticeable that the number of passenger kilometers travelled by bicycle and motorbike decreased, whilst that of those travelled by other 3 types increased slightly. In detail, it can be explained that there was a gentle drop in the figure of bicycle and that of motorbike by 2 billions each from 1990 to 2000. However, the proportion of distance travelled by bus and that of travelled by rail grew by 4 billions on average. Similarly, the quantity of distance travelled by air experience a rise since its passenger kilometers increased by 3 billions throughout those mentioned years. Finally, it is compelling that the proportion of passenger kilometers from all types of transportation increased from 100 billions to 110 billions a decade later.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart well compare the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
kilometers by each selected means of transport
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
bicycle, motorbike, air, bus, and rail) and total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
kilometers in the UK between 1990 and 2000.
Overall
, it is noticeable that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
kilometers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
by bicycle and motorbike decreased, whilst that of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
by other 3 types increased
slightly
.

In detail, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
that there was a gentle drop in the figure of bicycle and that of motorbike by 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
each from 1990 to 2000.
However
, the proportion of distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
by bus and that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
by rail grew by 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
on average.
Similarly
, the quantity of distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelled
by air experience a rise since its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
kilometers increased by 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
throughout those mentioned years.
Finally
, it is compelling that the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
kilometers from all types of transportation increased from 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
to 110
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billions
a decade later.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the passenger kilometers travelled by different means of transport in the UK in 1990 and 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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