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The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. v.4

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. v. 4
The provided graphs and the table show data on the number of overseas travellers visited Australia from the year 1975 till 2005 and their origin where they came from. As is observed in the line graph, in 1975 8. 8 million of foreign travellers visited Australia and this number increased steadily each year. In 2005, this visitor’s number reached to 30. 4 million which is almost double than the visitors’ number in 1985. The highest number of tourists came from Japan. In 1975, more than 3 million tourists came from Japan which is more than the total tourists came from Europe, Britain, China and USA. This number reached to 12 million in 2005 which contributed one-third of the total tourist of this year. The second largest tourists came to Australia from South Korea both in 1975 and in 2005. The Chinese tourist is the lowest in number among the 6 regions. In short, the number of total tourists who came to visit Australia increased steadily and the highest number of tourist came from Asia, specifically from Japan and South Korea.
The provided graphs and the table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
data on the
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number
of overseas
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travellers
visited Australia from the year 1975 till 2005 and their origin where they
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came
from. As
is observed
in the line graph, in 1975 8. 8
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million
of foreign
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
visited Australia and this
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number
increased
steadily
each year. In 2005, this visitor’s
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number
reached to 30. 4
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million
which is almost
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
double
than the visitors’
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number
in 1985.

The highest
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number
of
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tourists
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came
from Japan. In 1975, more than 3
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million
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tourists
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came
from Japan which is more than the total
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tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
came
from Europe, Britain, China and USA. This
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number
reached to 12
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million
in 2005 which contributed one-third of the total
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tourist
of this year. The second largest
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tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
came
to Australia from South Korea both in 1975 and in 2005. The Chinese
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tourist
is the lowest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
among the 6 regions.

In short, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of total
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tourists
who
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came
to visit Australia increased
steadily
and the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
came
from Asia,
specifically
from Japan and South Korea.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. v. 4

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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