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Some people think computers and the Internet are more important in a child’s education. Others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children’s learning. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think computers and the Internet are more important in a child’s education. Others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children’s learning. v. 2
With the Internet technology prosper in life, our life has completely transformed by it. Since more and more people can acquire all sorts of knowledge via various teaching resources, people have been argued about whether conventional education is still as indispensable as usual. The reason advocates of children should educate on the Internet instead of the conventional way is that it allowed students more freedom to arrange the study schedule, especially for those who are tempted to decide the learning space as they like. In addition, tele-education overcomes the geographical barriers and saves lots of commuting troubles, because of that, there is an opportunity for the special groups, such as the disabled, the sicked students, the busy entrepreneurs and so on, to continue the studying. Although studying online can course of cooperate and communication, it is still different from the face-to-face interaction because it lacks the personal touch which is a key for human communication. Through schooling education, students can immerse in the surrounding study atmosphere and engage in the teamwork or the group seminar with their partners which cannot be found on the Internet. Moreover, teachers in school not only teach students the required knowledge but also cultivate their morality and personality. For instance, if students were caught cheating in the exam, the school would give ones punishment to made them realize the mistake and curb the re-offend. In my opinion, the Internet does give us lots of flexibility and freedom in our life. But we should not entirely depend on it because, in some way, it may distract our attention and make our work and study less efficient and effective.
With the Internet technology prosper in life, our life has completely transformed by it. Since more and more
people
can acquire all sorts of knowledge via various teaching resources,
people
have
been argued
about whether conventional education is
still
as indispensable as usual.

The reason advocates of children should educate on the Internet
instead
of the conventional way is that it
allowed
students
more freedom to arrange the study schedule,
especially
for those who
are tempted
to decide the learning space as they like.
In addition
,
tele-education
overcomes the geographical barriers and saves lots of commuting troubles,
because
of that, there is an opportunity for the special groups, such as the disabled, the sicked
students
, the busy entrepreneurs and
so
on, to continue the studying.

Although studying online can course of cooperate and communication, it is
still
different
from the face-to-face interaction
because
it lacks the personal touch which is a key for human communication. Through schooling education,
students
can immerse in the surrounding study atmosphere and engage in the teamwork or the group seminar with their partners which cannot
be found
on the Internet.
Moreover
, teachers in school not
only
teach
students
the required knowledge
but
also
cultivate their morality and personality.
For instance
, if
students
were caught
cheating in the exam, the school would give
ones
punishment to made them realize the mistake and curb the re-offend.

In my opinion, the Internet does give us lots of flexibility and freedom in our life.
But
we should not
entirely
depend on it
because
, in
some
way, it may distract our attention and
make
our work and study less efficient and effective.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS academic Some people think computers and the Internet are more important in a child’s education. Others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children’s learning. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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