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The pie charts below show the coffee production, coffee consumption and the profit distribution around the world. v.1

The pie charts below show the coffee production, coffee consumption and the profit distribution around the world. v. 1
The pie charts correlate global coffee consumptions, coffee production in four countries as well as profit distributions among business segments related to coffee. It is obvious that Europeans and Americans are the primary coffee consumers while South Africa is the largest coffee producer among the given countries. Moreover, companies that deliver coffee make more profit than other organisations that do business in this industry. According to the illustration, Europeans drink more than 40% coffee which is the highest ratio of coffee intake in the world. America consumes 2% less than that while Japanese dissipate only 8% of global coffee. Rest of the world merely consumes 12% coffee. South Africa contributes to 44% coffee production which is the highest. Indonesia harvests 22% coffee, exactly half of the South African coffee assembly. Japan and Vietnam make 18% and 16% coffee respectively. Interestingly, despite Japan’s being one of the top countries to produce coffee, its consumption ratio is comparatively lower. Finally, more than half of the profit from coffee is made by the delivery industries. Coffee retailers’ share of profit is roughly a quarter while coffee producers and exporters make 10% and 15% profits respectively.
The pie charts correlate global
coffee
consumptions
,
coffee
production in four countries
as well
as
profit
distributions among business segments related to
coffee
. It is obvious that Europeans and Americans are the primary
coffee
consumers while South Africa is the largest
coffee
producer among the
given
countries.
Moreover
,
companies
that deliver
coffee
make
more
profit
than other
organisations
that do business in this industry.

According to the illustration, Europeans drink more than 40%
coffee
which is the highest ratio of
coffee
intake in the world. America consumes 2% less than that while Japanese dissipate
only
8% of global
coffee
. Rest of the world
merely
consumes 12% coffee.

South Africa contributes to 44%
coffee
production which is the highest. Indonesia harvests 22%
coffee
, exactly half of the South African
coffee
assembly. Japan and Vietnam
make
18% and 16%
coffee
respectively
.
Interestingly
, despite Japan’s being one of the top countries to produce
coffee
, its consumption ratio is
comparatively
lower.

Finally
, more than half of the
profit
from
coffee
is made
by the delivery industries.
Coffee
retailers’ share of
profit
is roughly a quarter while
coffee
producers and exporters
make
10% and 15%
profits
respectively
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS academic The pie charts below show the coffee production, coffee consumption and the profit distribution around the world. v. 1

Academic
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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