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The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. v.6

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. v. 6
The given line graph illustrates the annual visits to Australia by foreigners in million from the year 1975 to 2005 while the table represents these visits from six different countries in both 1975 and 2005. A staggering increase in the number of visits to Australia is noticeable. A large portion of this increase can be attributed to South Koreans and Japanese tourists as is evident in the table data. An upward moving trend is clearly visible in the line graph that shows an increase in visits to Australia by foreigners as the number rose from 8. 8 million in 1975 to 30. 2 million in 2005, almost trebling in value in the period spanning from 1975 to 2000. This spike in numbers can be largely attributed to South Koreans and Japanese tourists as their tourism rose a whopping 15 million collectively. This trend was not seen in the United States, China, or Britain as their tourists' numbers who visited Australia did not increase significantly (1. 1, 0. 8 and 2. 9 respectively in 2005). European tourism, however, also saw a rise in appetite towards Australia their tourism almost quadrupled from 1975 to 2005.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrates the annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
to Australia by foreigners in
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
from the year 1975 to 2005 while the table represents these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
from six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries in both 1975 and 2005. A staggering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
to Australia is noticeable. A large portion of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
can
be attributed
to South Koreans and Japanese tourists as is evident in the table data.

An upward moving trend is
clearly
visible in the line graph that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
to Australia by foreigners as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
rose from 8. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 1975 to 30. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2005, almost trebling in value in the period spanning from 1975 to 2000.

This spike in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
can be
largely
attributed to South Koreans and Japanese tourists as their tourism rose a whopping 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
collectively
. This trend was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the United States, China, or Britain as their tourists'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
who visited Australia did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
significantly
(1. 1, 0. 8 and 2. 9
respectively
in 2005). European tourism,
however
,
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a rise in appetite towards Australia their tourism almost quadrupled from 1975 to 2005.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. v. 6

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
193 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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