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The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. v.5

The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. v. 5
The given line graph and table give data on the number of foreign travellers who visited Australia from the year 1975 to 2005 and shows where they came from. As is observed from the given illustrations, the number of overseas visitors increased steadily each year and the highest number of tourists came to Australia from Japan and South Korea. As is presented in the given line graph, around 9 million tourists came to Australia initially in 1975. This number kept on increasing steadily and reached over 15 million in 1985. In the year the number of tourists who visited Australia reached to 24 million and finally in 1995, this number rocketed to well over 30 million. The number increased each year starting from 1975 and in 30 years, the total tourists’ number got well over 30 million. The table then compares the foreign tourists who visited Australia in 1975 and 2005 and shows the origins of these tourists. In 1975, total 8. 8 millions of tourists visited Australia and among them, 2. 9 million came from South Korea and 3. 2 million from Japan. The remaining travellers came from China, USA, Britain and Europe. After 30 years in 2005, the total Australia visiting tourists increased to 30. 4 million compared to the 8. 8 million in 30 years back. 9. 1 millions of South Korean tourists came to visit Australia in 2005  and this number is more than 3 times compared to tourists number of 1975. In 2005 the Japanese tourists’ number increased to almost four times than the tourists’ number of 1975. The tourists’ number increased for all the given six countries in 2005 than the tourists of 1975. The majority of the tourists came to visit Australia from Asia than the USA and Europe. In 2005, around 22 millions of tourists came to Australia from Asian countries compared to the remaining 8. 5 millions of tourists from Britain, the USA and Europe.
The
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given
line graph and table give data on the
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number
of foreign
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travellers
who
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visited
Australia from the
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year
1975 to 2005 and
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shows
where they
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came
from. As
is observed
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustrations, the
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number
of overseas visitors
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increased
steadily
each
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year
and the highest
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number
of
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tourists
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came
to Australia from Japan and South Korea.

As
is presented
in the
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given
line graph, around 9
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million
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tourists
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came
to Australia
initially
in 1975. This
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number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on increasing
steadily
and reached over 15
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million
in 1985. In the
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year
the
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number
of
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tourists
who
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visited
Australia reached to 24
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million
and
finally
in 1995, this
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number
rocketed to well over 30
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million
. The
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number
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increased
each
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year
starting from 1975 and in 30 years, the total
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tourists’
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number
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got
well over 30 million.

The table then compares the foreign
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tourists
who
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visited
Australia in 1975 and 2005 and
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shows
the origins of these
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tourists
. In 1975, total 8. 8
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millions
of
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tourists
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visited
Australia and among them, 2. 9
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million
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came
from South Korea and 3. 2
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million
from Japan. The remaining
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travellers
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came
from China, USA, Britain and Europe. After 30 years in 2005, the total Australia visiting
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tourists
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increased
to 30. 4
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million
compared to the 8. 8
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million
in 30 years back. 9. 1
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millions
of South Korean
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tourists
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came
to visit Australia in 2005
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and this
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number
is more than 3 times compared to
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tourists
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number
of 1975. In 2005 the Japanese
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tourists’
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number
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increased
to almost four
Use "(times)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
times
than the
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tourists’
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number
of 1975. The
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tourists’
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number
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increased
for all the
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given
six countries in 2005 than the
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tourists
of 1975. The majority of the
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tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
came
to visit Australia from Asia than the USA and Europe. In 2005, around 22
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millions
of
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tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
came
to Australia from Asian countries compared to the remaining 8. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
from Britain, the USA and Europe.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
63Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS academic The line graph below shows the number of annual visits to Australia by overseas residents. The table below gives information on the country of origin where the visitors came from. v. 5

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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