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The line graph below shows the average daily maximum temperature for Auckland and Christchurch, two sites in New Zealand, and London and Edinburgh, two sites in the United Kingdom. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and v.2

The line graph below shows the average daily maximum temperature for Auckland and Christchurch, two sites in New Zealand, and London and Edinburgh, two sites in the United Kingdom.
The graph shows the annual heat in Auckland and Christchurch, New Zealand, and London and Edinburgh, United Kingdom on a monthly basis. Overall, four countries remained practically unchanged at the end of the year, as at the beginning. At the beginning of the year New Zealand' s both countries temperature level out about 25°C warm. Meanwhile, London' s two countries temperature remain above 5°C cold. During a half part of year the weather condition starts noticeably change, which presents a dramatically increase at about 20°C in London' s and decrease at less than 15 °C in New Zealand' s counties between mid-July and mid-August. However, due to Autumn and Winter seasons the climate become climbing in Auckland and Christchurch at 20°C, meanwhile, it plummets in London and Edinburgh at 5°C. To sum up, the weather temperature become colder in the summer season in New Zealand' s two countries and it show completely the opposite pattern to the two British cities. However London and Edinburgh have lower temperature than Auckland and Christchurch.
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the annual heat in Auckland and Christchurch,
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New
Zealand, and London and Edinburgh, United Kingdom on a monthly basis.

Overall
, four
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countries
remained
practically
unchanged at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year, as at the beginning. At the beginning of the year
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New
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zealand&
#039; s both
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
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temperature
level out about
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "25 °C"
25°C
warm. Meanwhile,
Possible spelling mistake found.
London&
#039; s two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
remain above
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "5 °C"
5°C
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
. During a half part of year the weather condition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
noticeably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, which presents a
You used an adverb ('dramatically') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
dramatically increase
at about
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "20 °C"
20°C
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
London&
#039; s and decrease at less than 15 °C in
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New
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zealand&
#039; s counties between mid-July and mid-August.
However
, due to Autumn and Winter seasons the climate become climbing in Auckland and Christchurch at
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "20 °C"
20°C
, meanwhile, it plummets in London and Edinburgh at
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "5 °C"
5°C
.

To sum up, the weather
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temperature
become colder in
Consider using "summer".
the summer season
in
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New
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zealand&
#039; s two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and it
Did you mean "shows"?
show
completely the opposite pattern to the two British cities.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
London and Edinburgh have lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
than Auckland and Christchurch.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS academic The line graph below shows the average daily maximum temperature for Auckland and Christchurch, two sites in New Zealand, and London and Edinburgh, two sites in the United Kingdom.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
171 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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