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The charts below show three types of police reports from the city of Johnstown in 2016, along with Johnstown’s average monthly temperature. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The charts below show three types of police reports from the city of Johnstown in 2016, along with Johnstown’s average monthly temperature.
The given graphs show the 2016 police reports and the average monthly temperature as a bar graph and line graph respectively for Johnsown. Also, the bar graph displays police reports in three different categories quaterly against the number of reports. Overall it is a clear and cohesive representation. As it can be seen in the bar graph that the traffic violations are highest at the start of the year but gradually decrease from about 180 to around 140 by the end. Also, there is a sudden bump in theft reports during the peak summer months of July-Sep, however noise complaints remain nearly constant at about 20-25 for the whole year. On the other hand, the average temperature see a gradual rise and decrease distributed evenly over the year hitting a zenith during the months of July-Sep. This is the same time around which thefts are the most. Conclusively, it can be observed that though thefts are more common during the peak summer days in the Johnstown, however traffic violations remain high the whole year around.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graphs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the 2016 police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
and the average monthly temperature as a bar
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graph
and line
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graph
respectively
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Johnsown
.
Also
, the bar
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graph
displays police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories
Possible spelling mistake found.
quaterly
against the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
.
Overall
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and cohesive representation.

As it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
that the traffic violations are highest at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
gradually
decrease from about 180 to around 140 by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
Also
, there is a sudden bump in theft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
during the peak summer months of July-Sep,
however
noise complaints remain
nearly
constant at about 20-25 for the whole year.

On the other hand
, the average temperature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a gradual rise and decrease distributed
evenly
over the year hitting a zenith during the months of July-Sep. This is the same time around which thefts are the most.

Conclusively
, it can
be observed
that though thefts are more common during the peak summer days in the Johnstown,
however
traffic violations remain high the whole year around.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS academic The charts below show three types of police reports from the city of Johnstown in 2016, along with Johnstown’s average monthly temperature.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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