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The bar chart below shows the average monthly maximum temperatures for three Australian cities in the year 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The bar chart below shows the average monthly maximum temperatures for three Australian cities in the year 2016.
The bar diagram gives information about the average monthly peak temperature in three Australian cities (namely Melbourne, Darwin, and Perth) in the year 2016. The units are measured in degree Celsius. Overall, Darwin was the hottest of them all, throughout the year, with a minimal variation of less than three degrees between different months of the year, whereas Melbourne was found to be relatively cooler than the other two cities at any given month in the year, and it also experienced the greatest variation in peak temperature throughout the year. Discussing the further details, the hottest months for Darwin was November when the temperature reached to 33. 3 degrees. On the other hand, July was found to be coldest with a maximum average temperature of 30. 5 degree Celsius. The other months of the year ranged between 30. 5 – 33. 3 degrees. Furthermore, Melbourne and Perth followed similar trends of rise and fall in peak temperature across the year. Like Darwin, January was the hottest months for both these cities with a peak of 25. 8 and 28. 1 degrees respectively, and July was the coldest with a maximum of 13. 3 and 18. 8 degrees respectively. Throughout the year, Melbourne was cooler than Perth, except in the month of March, when both these cities had the same peak temperature of 23. 8 degree Celsius.
The bar diagram gives information about the average monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peak
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temperature
in three Australian
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cities
(
namely
Melbourne, Darwin, and Perth) in the
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year
2016. The units
are measured
in
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degree
Celsius.

Overall
, Darwin was the hottest of them all, throughout the
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year
, with a minimal variation of less than three
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degrees
between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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months
of the
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year
, whereas Melbourne
was found
to be
relatively
cooler than the other two
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cities
at any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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month
in the
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year
, and it
also
experienced the greatest variation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
throughout the year.

Discussing the
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the hottest
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months
for Darwin was November when the
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temperature
reached to 33. 3
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degrees
.
On the other hand
, July
was found
to be coldest with a maximum average
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temperature
of 30. 5
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degree
Celsius. The other
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months
of the
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year
ranged between 30. 5 – 33. 3 degrees.

Furthermore
, Melbourne and Perth followed similar trends of rise and fall in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
across the
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year
. Like Darwin, January was the hottest
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months
for both these
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cities
with a
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peak
of 25. 8 and 28. 1
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degrees
respectively
, and July was the coldest with a maximum of 13. 3 and 18. 8
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degrees
respectively
. Throughout the
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year
, Melbourne was cooler than Perth, except in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of March, when both these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
had the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
of 23. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
Celsius.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the average monthly maximum temperatures for three Australian cities in the year 2016.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
226 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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