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The bar chart shows the percentage of people livn alone of five diferent age groups in USA between 1850 and 2000. v.2

The bar chart shows the percentage of people livn alone of five diferent age groups in USA between 1850 and 2000. v. 2
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of masses who lived alone in five diverse age groups such as: 17-26, 27-36, 37-36, 47-54, 55-64 in the USA between 1850 and 2000, a period of 15 decades. Overall, it can be seen that, the amount of people who was live alone in all the categories in the year of 2000. Whereas, the highest percentage of homosapiens, who living without family is age over 55. After minute concentration on this chart, it is crystal clear that data of 37-46 age category was stable between 1850 to 1950, but, surprisingly in 2000 it rose drastically and stood at 7 percentum. Moreover, people of 47-54 and 55-64 age category were similar in 1900. However, the age group between 37-46 and 47-54, who lived single at more than 2%. Probing Further, the majority of people of 55-64 intented to live alone in 2000 which was maximum at more than 16 % as compared to other age groups. Meanwhile, the group of 17-26 begins from after one centuary at aproximate 2 % and after five decades the alone living rate of masses in USA doubled in 2000 stood at 5 percentile.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of masses
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who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
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alone
in five diverse
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age
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groups
such as: 17-26, 27-36, 37-36, 47-54, 55-64 in the USA between 1850 and 2000, a period of 15 decades.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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who
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
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alone
in all the categories in the year of 2000. Whereas, the highest percentage of
Possible spelling mistake found.
homosapiens
,
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who
living without family is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
over 55.

After minute concentration on this chart, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that data of 37-46
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age
category was stable
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1850 and 1950".
between 1850 to 1950
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
surprisingly
in 2000 it rose
drastically
and stood at 7
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentum
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of 47-54 and 55-64
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
category were similar in 1900.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
between 37-46 and 47-54,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
single at more than 2%.

Probing
Further
, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of 55-64
Possible spelling mistake found.
intented
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
in 2000 which was maximum at more than 16 % as compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
. Meanwhile, the
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group
of 17-26
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
from after one
Possible spelling mistake found.
centuary
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
aproximate
2 % and after five decades the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
living rate of masses
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
doubled in 2000 stood at 5
Possible agreement error. The noun 'percentile' seems to be countable, so consider using: "percentiles".
percentile
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The bar chart shows the percentage of people livn alone of five diferent age groups in USA between 1850 and 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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