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The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentages of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. v.1

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentages of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. v. 1
The line graph outlines the number of books people rented from four rural libraries between June and September 2014 while the Pie chart gives data on the kinds of books that were borrowed from those libraries. Generally speaking, the number of borrowed books fluctuated throughout the months and fiction was the most popular category among those library goers. As is presented, People borrowed the highest number of books, 300 to be precise, from Ryeslip library in June 2014. With 250 renting, Sutton Wood library stood as the second highest lender of books at that time. West Eaton and Church Mount libraries dispatched 50 books each in June 2014. Interestingly, the number of books subscribers borrowed from Ryeslip library declined steadily over the next three months and in September it forwarded just over 150 books to readers. The most erratic pattern of lending books could be observed for Sutton Wood library but in September it allowed 300 books to be borrowed which was almost double than that of other libraries. Over the months, the book borrowing from West Eaton and Church Mount libraries increased and they showed a similar lending pattern. They each allowed 150 books to it readers in September. It is obvious that people mostly borrowed fictions from these libraries as more than 40% of borrowed books fell in this category. Borrowing ratio for history and science books accounted for 14% each and that was 5% lower than that of biology books. Self-help books’ borrowing ratio was exactly 10% which indicated one in ten books borrowed had this genre.
The line graph outlines the
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number
of
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books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rented from four rural libraries between June and September 2014 while the Pie chart gives data on the kinds of
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books
that were
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borrowed
from those libraries.
Generally
speaking, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
fluctuated throughout the months and fiction was the most popular category among those library goers.

As
is presented
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
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borrowed
the highest
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number
of
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books
, 300 to be precise, from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ryeslip
library in June 2014. With 250 renting, Sutton Wood library stood as the second highest lender of
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books
at that time. West Eaton and Church Mount libraries dispatched 50
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books
each in June 2014.
Interestingly
, the
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number
of
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books
subscribers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrowed
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ryeslip
library declined
steadily
over the
next
three months and in September it forwarded
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just
over 150
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books
to readers. The most erratic pattern of lending
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books
could
be observed
for Sutton Wood library
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but
in September it
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allowed
300
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books
to be
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borrowed
which was almost
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
double
than that of other libraries. Over the months, the
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book
borrowing from West Eaton and Church Mount libraries
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
increased and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a similar lending pattern. They each
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
150
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books
to it readers in September.

It is obvious that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
mostly
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borrowed
fictions from these libraries as more than 40% of
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borrowed
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books
fell in this category. Borrowing ratio for history and science
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books
accounted for 14% each and that was 5% lower than that of biology
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books
. Self-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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books’
borrowing ratio was exactly 10% which indicated one in ten
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books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrowed
had this genre.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentages of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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