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The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited four different attractions in Edinburgh v.2

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited four different attractions in Edinburgh v. 2
The line graph compares the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited Edinburgh atractions between 1980 and 2010. In general terms, there was a fluctuation in the percentage of tourists in four different places. Besides, we can see that in 1980 and in 2010, the favourite attraction were the castle and the festical. In 1980, the least popular place was the zoon while in 2010 this changed and the aquarium was the least popular. It is clear from the line graph show that during the 1980s and 1995s, there was a significant increase in visitors to the castle from about 23% to nearly 45% and the proportion dropped gradually to 30% in 2010. The trend for the aquarium was similar to the castle. Visitors rose dramatically from 20% to arround 35% between 1980 and 1985 and then gradually decreased to under 10% over th next twenty-five years. On the other hand, ther proportion of tourists who visited the festival fluctuated slightly but in general remained stable at about 25% from 1980 to 2010. Visitors to the zoo also fluctuated between 1980 ans 2000 and then rose sharply from 10% to 20% from 2000 to 2010.
The line graph compares the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited Edinburgh
atractions
between 1980 and 2010.

In general
terms, there was a fluctuation in the percentage of tourists in four
different
places.
Besides
, we can
see
that in 1980 and in 2010, the
favourite
attraction were the castle and the
festical
. In 1980, the least popular place was the
zoon
while in 2010 this
changed
and the aquarium was the least popular.

It is
clear
from the line graph
show
that during the 1980s and 1995s, there was a significant increase in visitors to the castle from about 23% to
nearly
45% and the proportion dropped
gradually
to 30% in 2010. The trend for the aquarium was similar to the castle. Visitors rose
dramatically
from 20% to
arround
35% between 1980 and 1985 and then
gradually
decreased to under 10% over
th
next
twenty-five years.

On the other hand
,
ther
proportion of tourists who visited the festival fluctuated
slightly
but
in general
remained stable at about 25% from 1980 to 2010. Visitors to the zoo
also
fluctuated between 1980 ans 2000 and then rose
sharply
from 10% to 20% from 2000 to 2010.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS academic The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to Scotland who visited four different attractions in Edinburgh v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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