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The charts below illustrate the average bed use in three typical hospitals internationally and the proportion of hospital budgets allocated to in-patient care before and after day-surgery was introduced in 2003. v.2

The charts below illustrate the average bed use in three typical hospitals internationally and the proportion of hospital budgets allocated to in-patient care before and after day-surgery was introduced in 2003. v. 2
The diagrams provided illustrate the average number of patient beds utilizing in three international common hospitals and the percentage of hospital funds invested in in-patient care prior and after day-surgery was introduced in 2003. Overall, there was an upward trend in the average number of beds using in hospitals. Also, a large proportion of hospital sums of money was allocated to other expenses. Chinese hospital was using 70 patient beds in the first initial year, increasing slowly during from just below 80 beds in 1998 to about 90 beds in 2005, and finishing at above 90 in last year, while 60 patient beds were utilized in Ukrainian in 1997, and it experienced a small increase from 1998 to 2002 before levelling off at around 70 between 2003 and 2006. In contrast, French hospital employed the least number of patient beds in 1997 (around 40), increasing moderately since 1998 to 2003 and saw a small fall in 2004 before ending the period just above 40 patient beds. Moving to pie charts, the majority of hospital financial funding was allocated to other expenses and it commenced at 65% in 2002, rising by 8% in the next following 4 years. However, 35% of the money was invested in in-patient care in the first initial year, cutting down to about 27% in 2006.
The diagrams provided illustrate the average number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
utilizing in three international common
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hospitals
and the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
funds invested in in-patient care prior and after day-surgery
was introduced
in 2003.

Overall
, there was an upward trend in the average number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
using in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
.
Also
, a large proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
sums of money
was allocated
to other expenses.

Chinese
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hospital
was using 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
in the
first
initial
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year
, increasing
slowly
during from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 80
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beds
in 1998 to about 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
in 2005, and finishing at above 90 in last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, while 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
were utilized
in Ukrainian in 1997, and it experienced a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
increase from 1998 to 2002
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
levelling off at around 70 between 2003 and 2006.
In contrast
, French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
employed the least number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beds
in 1997 (around 40), increasing
moderately
since 1998 to 2003 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fall in 2004
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
ending the period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
beds.

Moving to pie charts, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
financial funding
was allocated
to other expenses and it commenced at 65% in 2002, rising by 8% in the
next
following 4 years.
However
, 35% of the money
was invested
in in-patient care in the
first
initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, cutting down to about 27% in 2006.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS academic The charts below illustrate the average bed use in three typical hospitals internationally and the proportion of hospital budgets allocated to in-patient care before and after day-surgery was introduced in 2003. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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