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The illustrations shows how chocolate is produced Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The illustrations shows how chocolate is produced
The process chart illustrates the production of chocolate in ten stages. Overall, it is immediately apparent from the process chart that initially cocoa tree is grown and culminating in production of liquid chocolate after following significant procedure As a first stage, red pods are ripen from the cocoa tree which are grown in S. America, Africa and Indonesia. After harvesting of pods the white cocoa beans are gathered. Next, the beans are fermented. Moving further, the fermented beans are spread in the direct sunlight for drying. After drying process, the beans are put in large sacks for the purpose of transportation. The large number of sacks are then transported by train or lorry. The sacks are taken to the factory for further procedure. The prepared beans are roasted at severe temperature of about 350' c. Further, the outer shell is removed from the by product and the beans are crushed in the following step. In the final stage, the inner part of beans are pressed in a distinct machine and consequently liquid chocolate is produced.
The process chart illustrates the production of chocolate in ten stages.

Overall
, it is immediately apparent from the process chart that
initially
cocoa tree
is grown
and culminating in production of liquid chocolate after following significant procedure

As a
first
stage, red pods are
Consider using a past participle here: "ripened".
ripen
from the cocoa tree which
are grown
in S. America, Africa and Indonesia.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
harvesting of pods the white cocoa
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are gathered
.
Next
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are fermented
. Moving
further
, the fermented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are spread
in the direct sunlight for drying. After drying process, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are put
in large sacks for the purpose of transportation.

The large number of sacks are then transported by train or lorry. The sacks
are taken
to the factory for
further
procedure.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are roasted
at severe temperature of about 350' c.
Further
, the outer shell
is removed
from the by product and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are crushed
in the following step. In the final stage, the inner part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are pressed
in a distinct machine and
consequently
liquid chocolate
is produced
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS academic The illustrations shows how chocolate is produced

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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