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he table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarize information and make comparison which relevant. v.2

he table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002.
The table compares the six demographics about the population in Australia and Malaysia in year 1980 and 2002. It can clearly be seen that average annual population growth is almost half in both years in Australia, as compared to one in Malaysia. The amount of total population in Australia was nearly about 14 millions in 1980 which swelled to almost 20 millions in 2002. The total population in Malaysia accounted for 14 millions in 1980, and experienced almost a rise of two-fold in 2002. The proportion of male population in both the countries were relatively constant around 50% in both years. Same goes for female populations, around 50% population was measured in both countries at same time period. The biggest discrepancy was seen in birth rate, Australia accounted 1. 5% in 1980 with slight decline followed by 0. 2% in year 2002. Malaysia with 2. 4% birth rate in 1980 fell to 2. 1% in 2002. As an overall assessment, it can be seen that both countries have the highest total population in year 2002. Population aged over 65 had significant growth from 9. 6% in 1980 to 12. 4% in 2002, whereas Malaysia experienced marginal growth of 0. 6% in 2002 preceded by 3. 7% in 1980
The table compares the six demographics about the
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population
in Australia and Malaysia in
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year
1980 and 2002. It can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that average annual
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population
growth is almost half in both years in Australia, as compared to one in Malaysia.

The amount of total
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population
in Australia was
nearly
about 14 millions in 1980 which swelled to almost 20 millions in 2002. The total
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population
in Malaysia accounted for 14 millions in 1980, and experienced almost a rise of two-fold in 2002.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
proportion of male
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population
in both the countries were
relatively
constant around 50% in both years. Same goes for female
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populations
, around 50%
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population
was measured
in both countries at same time period. The biggest discrepancy was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in birth rate, Australia accounted 1. 5% in 1980 with slight decline followed by 0. 2% in
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year
2002. Malaysia with 2. 4% birth rate in 1980 fell to 2. 1% in 2002.

As an
overall
assessment, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that both countries have the highest total
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population
in
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year
2002.
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Population
aged over 65 had significant growth from 9. 6% in 1980 to 12. 4% in 2002, whereas Malaysia experienced marginal growth of 0. 6% in 2002 preceded by 3. 7% in 1980
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS academic he table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
207 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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