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The graphs indicate the source of complaints about the Bank of America and the amount of time it takes to have the complaints resolved. v.2

The graphs indicate the source of complaints about the Bank of America and the amount of time it takes to have the complaints resolved. v. 2
The graphs provide data on the ratio of objections received by the Bank of America divided into 6 categories (Public, Insurance companies, Media, Government agencies, Out of State, and Bank employees) and the time spent to process those complaints from the beginning to the final act. Overall, the highest percentage of complaints came from the mass people while the longest time required to process the complaints was six months in 2001. Those complaints were promptly addressed in 2002. It can be clearly seen from the pie chart that more than 60% complaints to Bank of America were originated from ordinary people. 8% of these were reported by the insurance companies while media complaint ratio was very low, only 3%. Government agency’s complained one out of ten while bank-employers and out of state complaints comprised 5% of it. Complaints from other sources which are not included in the given six categories made up one-tenth of the total complaints. Now turning to a more detailed analysis in the bar graph, in 2001, 6 months was needed on average to process the complaints and act against those. In addition, all previous and proceeding years displayed an average waiting period of 4 to 5 months.
The graphs provide data on the ratio of objections received by the Bank of America divided into 6 categories (Public, Insurance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, Media,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
agencies, Out of State, and Bank employees) and the time spent to process those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
from the beginning to the final act.

Overall
, the highest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
came from the mass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
while the longest time required to process the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
was six months in 2001. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
were
promptly
addressed in 2002.

It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the pie chart that more than 60%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
to Bank of America
were originated
from ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. 8% of these
were reported
by the insurance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
while media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaint
ratio was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3%.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
Consider using the plural form here: "agencys".
agency’s
complained one out of ten while bank-employers and out of state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
comprised 5% of it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Complaints
from other sources which are not included in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
six categories made up one-tenth of the total complaints.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
turning to a more detailed analysis in the bar graph, in 2001, 6 months
was needed
on average to process the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complaints
and act against those.
In addition
, all previous and proceeding years displayed an average waiting period of 4 to 5 months.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The graphs indicate the source of complaints about the Bank of America and the amount of time it takes to have the complaints resolved. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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