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The graphs below shows the weekly earning of men and women for the 16 59 age groups as per their education level v.2

The graphs below shows the weekly earning of men and women for the 16 59 age groups as per their education level v. 2
The given tabular layout depicts the information about weekly earning by men, and women into euros during the age per 16-59 through per education level. It if clear, and coherent representation. Overall, it is evident that the most amount of into masculinity category, and minimum amount ratio in faminine category in both component graduation, and below graduation. Adding from details, that In men, and women categories further divided into sessions graduation, and below graduation. First of all, In men category of graduation session have data from 16-59 that 250, 350, 390, 410, 610, and 690. nextly In another men component that is believed graduation level have been data ratio 100, 200, 310, 400, 500, 500 Respectively. Ultimately, that In women category is data amount differ from men In female session of data from 16-59 that graduation section 250, 300, 300, 300, 300. In another section of below graduation level to data ratio 200, 190, 250, 250, 230, 220, and 250 Responsiblity.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
tabular layout depicts the information about weekly earning by
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men
, and women into euros during the age per 16-59 through per education level.
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It if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, and coherent representation.

Overall
, it is evident that the most amount of into masculinity
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category
, and minimum amount ratio in
Possible spelling mistake found.
faminine
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category
in both component
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graduation
, and below graduation.

Adding from
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details
, that In
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men
, and women
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categories
further
divided into sessions
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graduation
, and below
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graduation
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, In
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men
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category
of
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graduation
session have
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data
from 16-59 that 250, 350, 390, 410, 610, and 690.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nextly
In another
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men
component that
is believed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduation
level have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
ratio 100, 200, 310, 400, 500, 500
Respectively
.

Ultimately
, that In women
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category
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
amount differ from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
In female session of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
from 16-59 that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduation
section 250, 300, 300, 300, 300. In another section of below
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduation
level to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
ratio 200, 190, 250, 250, 230, 220, and 250
Possible spelling mistake found.
Responsiblity
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS academic The graphs below shows the weekly earning of men and women for the 16 59 age groups as per their education level v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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