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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects, Others think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Techonology are more important than History. Disscuss both these view and give your own opinion v.1

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects, Others think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Techonology are more important than History. Disscuss both these view and give your own opinion v. 1
The truth be told that History is one of the most necessary subjects in school whereas many people says that science and technology are far more essential than History. In my opinion, I prefer the former statement. In the world of modernization, science and technology play a significant role in the society. Therefore, studying these subjects in school can supply people with widen knowledge to work and contribute to the society. Moreover, investing time and effort in technology and science since in school can guarantee high paid jobs for high living standard in the future. Most importantly, acknowledging in these fields can give us the opportunities to get numerous invention, gain many achievement, which can contribute to the better future of the society. Consequently, Technology and Science become favored fields in school which attract many students. On the other hand, History is an indispensable subject in education systems, More specifically. History can provide sustainable basement of knowledge for students. An undeniable benefit of this subject is that it can raise the students’ knowledge about their country’s past which can not only broaden national but also international issues for them. In addition, students can understand how much effort ascendances had taken to protect the country and their future from History, which can make them realize how precise the peace is. Therefore, through History, students can gain motivation and purpose to study and work for the contribution to the nowadays society. With all reasons mentioned above, I suppose that the importance of History can be replaced by any fields in spite of the changes of the world. In conclusion, Although Technology and Science draw attraction of many students due to the development of the world, History is an unreplaceable field in education system.
The truth be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is one of the most necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
says
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are far more essential than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
. In my opinion, I prefer the former statement.

In the world of modernization,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
play a significant role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Therefore
, studying these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can supply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with widen knowledge to work and contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Moreover
, investing time and effort in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
since in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can guarantee high paid jobs for high living standard in the future. Most
importantly
, acknowledging in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
can give us the opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
numerous invention, gain
Possible agreement error. The noun achievement seems to be countable; consider using: "many achievements".
many achievement
, which can contribute to the better future of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
become favored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
which attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is an indispensable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in education systems, More
specifically
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
can provide sustainable basement of knowledge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. An undeniable benefit of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is that it can raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
knowledge about their country’s past which can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
broaden national
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
international issues for them.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can understand how much effort
Possible spelling mistake found.
ascendances
had taken to protect the country and their future from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them realize how precise the peace is.
Therefore
, through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can gain motivation and purpose to study and work for the contribution to the nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. With all reasons mentioned above, I suppose that the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
can
be replaced
by any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of the world.

In conclusion
, Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
draw attraction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
due to the development of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
unreplaceable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
in education system.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects, Others think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Techonology are more important than History. Disscuss both these view and give your own opinion v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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