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The graphs below show where people first got their news both about the world and about local events between 1987 and 1997 v.2

The graphs below show where people first got their news both about the world and about local events between 1987 and 1997 v. 2
Overall, it is clear that radio was the least popular media in both world news and local news in the UK from 1987 to 1997. To begin with, in the source of world news in the UK, 65% of news source was depicted by audio-visual media in1987. Afterward, it experienced an irregular trend which had a slight dip at 60% in 1989. This trend remained steady for nearly 6 years and started declining from 70% in 1993 to 67% in 1997. The proportion of Newspaper ranked the second over the 10-year period, it begins at 25% and dropped slightly to 18% in 1994. Finally, it ended up with 20 percent in 1997. The radio fluctuated marginally between 9% and 15% over the decade. Turning to the source for local news in the UK, there is a dramatic decrease recorded in the newspaper, dropping from 56% in 1987 to 40% in 1997. However, television demonstrated an inversely proportional trend, increasing rapidly from 19% in 1987 to 37% in 1997. This followed by radio with minimal change which decreased minimally from 12% in1987 to 11% in11%
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that radio was the least popular media in both world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the UK from 1987 to 1997.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in the source of world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the UK, 65% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
source
was depicted
by audio-visual media in1987. Afterward, it experienced an irregular trend which had a slight dip at 60% in 1989. This trend remained steady for
nearly
6 years and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
declining from 70% in 1993 to 67% in 1997. The proportion of Newspaper ranked the second over the 10-year period, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
at 25% and dropped
slightly
to 18% in 1994.
Finally
, it ended up with 20 percent in 1997. The radio fluctuated
marginally
between 9% and 15% over the decade.

Turning to the source for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the UK, there is a dramatic decrease recorded in the newspaper, dropping from 56% in 1987 to 40% in 1997.
However
, television demonstrated an
inversely
proportional trend, increasing
rapidly
from 19% in 1987 to 37% in 1997. This followed by radio with minimal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
which decreased
minimally
from 12% in1987 to 11%
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
in11%
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The graphs below show where people first got their news both about the world and about local events between 1987 and 1997 v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
183 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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