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Tarnagul is a small town near Melbourne. The maps show the town's development over a period of time. v.2

Tarnagul is a small town near Melbourne. The maps show the town's development over a period of time. v. 2
The given diagram illustrates the information regarding the changes of Tarnagul town near Melbourne after redevelopment in three separate years; 1990, 1950 and 2000. In the first figure of 1990, there was a highway road who have passes through the middle of town area towards the eastern side and in the either side of town area there was a Mandarins and Oranges from southern to the northern side. Similarly, a river had crossed the highway road vertically in the western side where dairy was located nearly to the upper area of road. After five decades, a lot of changes have been marked in the question. A new lemons and grapefruit shop have reconstructed in the area of dairy which changed again in 2000 and wildlife sanctuary have been built in the same location. There was an oranges in the either side of town area in1950 whereas it had turned to the unused area in 2000. A worth noticing fact that a new railway system in the eastern side have additionally developed in 1950 from northern side to the west where packing sheds and railway station have reconstructed in the either way of railway system. Lastly, in 2000 the railway track have removed and focus was given to the craft market and tourist shop in the eastern side where as local museum have reconstructed in the place of packing sheds along with the park in the opposite to the museum.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram illustrates the information regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tarnagul
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
near Melbourne after redevelopment in three separate years; 1990, 1950 and 2000.

In the
first
figure of 1990, there was a highway road who have passes through the middle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
towards the eastern side and in the either side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
Did you mean "there were a Mandarins"?
there was a Mandarins
and Oranges from southern to the northern side.
Similarly
, a river had crossed the highway road
vertically
in the western side where dairy
was located
nearly
to the upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of road.

After five decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have
been marked
in the question. A new lemons and grapefruit shop have reconstructed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of dairy which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
again in 2000 and wildlife sanctuary have
been built
in the same location.
Did you mean "There were an oranges"?
There was an oranges
in the either side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
in1950 whereas it had turned to the unused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
in 2000. A worth noticing fact that a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
system in the eastern side have
additionally
developed in 1950 from northern side to the west where packing sheds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
station have reconstructed in the either way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
system.
Lastly
, in 2000 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
have removed and focus was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the craft market and tourist shop in the eastern side
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
local museum have reconstructed in the place of packing sheds along with the park in the opposite to the museum.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS academic Tarnagul is a small town near Melbourne. The maps show the town's development over a period of time. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
239 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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