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The bar chart below shows the passenger kilometres travelled by different means of transport in the UK in 1990 and 2000. v.2

The bar chart below shows the passenger kilometres travelled by different means of transport in the UK in 1990 and 2000. v. 2
The chart illustrates the kilometres travelled by passenger on various transportation in the uk from 1990 to 2000. Generally, the total of 100 billions passenger kilometres by the uk inhabitants was recorded in 1990, went up by over 10 billion in the preceded ten years, in which bus and train are the two most preference means of transport of uk citizens. Specifically, there are roughly 42 billion and 40 billion kilometres travelled on bus and rail in 1990, but during ten years period, both figures rose slightly to 43 billion kilometres. The number of kilometres travelled by people who live in the uk in air accounted for only a modest number, at approximately 5 billion kilometres in 1990, and experiencing a small rise to nearly 7 billion in 2000. In contrast, from 5 billion and 6 billion passenger kilometres by uk residents using bicycle and motorbike in 1990, to 4. 8 billion and 5. 8 billion passenger kilometres respectively in 2002.
The chart illustrates the
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
travelled by
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passenger
on various transportation in the
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uk
from 1990 to 2000.

Generally
, the total of 100
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billions
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passenger
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kilometres
by the
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uk
inhabitants
was recorded
in 1990, went up by over 10
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billion
in the preceded ten years, in which bus and train are the two most preference means of transport of
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uk
citizens.

Specifically
, there are roughly 42
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billion
and 40
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billion
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kilometres
travelled on bus and rail in 1990,
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but
during ten years period, both figures rose
slightly
to 43
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billion
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kilometres
. The number of
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kilometres
travelled by
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
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uk
in air accounted for
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only
a modest number, at approximately 5
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billion
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kilometres
in 1990, and experiencing a
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small
rise to
nearly
7
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billion
in 2000.

In contrast
, from 5
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billion
and 6
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billion
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passenger
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kilometres
by
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uk
residents using bicycle and motorbike in 1990, to 4. 8
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billion
and 5. 8
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billion
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passenger
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kilometres
respectively
in 2002.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS academic The bar chart below shows the passenger kilometres travelled by different means of transport in the UK in 1990 and 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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