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The graphs below compare the number ò cosmetic procedures performed on males and females in Korea in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The graphs below compare the number ò cosmetic procedures performed on males and females in Korea in 2004.
The two charts given demonstrate the number of cosmetic procedures conducted on males and females in Korea in 2004. The differences in the types of surgeries and the amount of operations between the two genders can be clearly seen. There is no surprise that plastic procedures are preferred by women. The most popular type of surgery they chose was eyelid, with a number of 320000, approximately. Rhinoplasty came second. The times this was done was about 280000. Breast enlargement and surgery type liposuction were least taken. Respectively, there were 150000 and 120000 times these procedures were selected. In comparison to women, the quantity of cosmetic surgery taken by the counterpart was by far less. The records shown there were 50000 hair transplantation operations taken by men, which make it the most favorite among them. This was more than six times less than the most picked by women. Abdominoplasty and surgery type were not as popular as the rest. The former was carried out about 20000 times and the latter had a number of 18000. It is obvious that both gender preferred laser skin resurfacing and rhinoplasty. On the contrary, liposuction, breast enlargement and eyelid surgery were taken by women only; while men chose hair transplantation executively.
The two charts
given
demonstrate the number of cosmetic procedures conducted on males and females in Korea in 2004. The differences in the
types
of surgeries and the amount of operations between the two genders can be
clearly
seen
.

There is no surprise that plastic procedures
are preferred
by
women
. The most popular
type
of surgery they chose was eyelid, with a number of 320000, approximately. Rhinoplasty came second. The
times
this
was done
was about 280000. Breast enlargement and surgery
type
liposuction were least taken.
Respectively
, there were 150000 and 120000
times
these procedures
were selected
.

In comparison
to
women
, the quantity of cosmetic surgery taken by the counterpart was by far less. The records shown there were 50000 hair transplantation operations taken by
men
, which
make
it the most favorite among them. This was more than six
times
less than the most picked by
women
.
Abdominoplasty
and surgery
type
were not as popular as the rest. The former
was carried
out about 20000
times
and the latter had a number of 18000.

It is obvious that both gender preferred laser skin resurfacing and rhinoplasty.
On the contrary
, liposuction, breast enlargement and eyelid surgery
were taken
by
women
only
; while
men
chose hair transplantation
executively
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The graphs below compare the number ò cosmetic procedures performed on males and females in Korea in 2004.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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