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The chart below shows the rate of males and females who were overweight in Austalia from 1980 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant. v.1

The chart below shows the rate of males and females who were overweight in Austalia from 1980 to 2010.
The graph illustrates what percentages of Australia men and women overweight between 1980 to 2010. It can be seen from the chart that the percentage of Australia men steadily increased and reached the peak from around 45% to 70% in the first two decades. After that, the rate suffered a slight decrease and ended up with 68% in 2010. In terms of the figure for women, it showed the same trend as the men' s one until 2000 which increased from 30% to 50% and remained the same figure in 2010. Furthermore, in the first year, the figure for men was almost 1. 5 times for women' s figure, what is more, the men' s number in 1990 was roughly 10% more than one for women, while the male' s data in the last decade was one fifth more than female' s in the same time period. Overall, the number of overweight men was far more than one for women in Australia.
The graph illustrates what percentages of Australia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
overweight
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1980 and 2010".
between 1980 to 2010
.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart that the percentage of Australia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
steadily
increased and reached the peak from around 45% to 70% in the
first
two decades. After that, the rate suffered a slight decrease and ended up with 68% in 2010. In terms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the same trend as the
Possible spelling mistake found.
men&
#039; s one until 2000 which increased from 30% to 50% and remained the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
in 2010.

Furthermore
, in the
first
year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
was almost 1. 5 times for
Possible spelling mistake found.
women&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
,
what is more
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
men&
#039; s number in 1990 was roughly 10% more than one for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, while the
Possible spelling mistake found.
male&
#039; s data in the last decade was one fifth more than
Possible spelling mistake found.
female&
#039; s in the same time period.

Overall
, the number of overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
was far more than one for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in Australia.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
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Charlemagne

IELTS academic The chart below shows the rate of males and females who were overweight in Austalia from 1980 to 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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