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The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London. v.4

The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London. v. 4
The provided graph depicts the number of people who use the London Underground station from 6: 00 am to 10: 00 pm on a typical day. It can be seen that the usage of the station varies at different periods of the day but mostly it remains busy at 8. 00 am and at 6. 00 pm. At 6: 00 am, the number of passengers at the station is very low with a total of 90 passengers. However, it firmly increases up 200 to 7: 00 am at which point the traffic witnesses a drastic plunge reaching the busiest point of the day with 400 passengers. In a subsequent couple of hours, the rush relieves a little to reach 180 passengers at 10: 00 am. The following two hours observe a humble rise which eventually reached at 280 when it, thereafter, creep to 300 from 12: 00 to 14: 00. From this moment, passenger arrival faces a major decline to the daily low point of less than 100 occurring at 16: 00 while it plunges again to the second maximum of 380 at 18: 00. For 18: 00 to 20: 00, traffic eases a little bit to around 130 and finally the remain hours encountering little fluctuation at 150.
The provided graph depicts the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the London Underground station from 6: 00 am to 10: 00 pm on a typical day. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the usage of the station varies at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
periods of the day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mostly
it remains busy at 8. 00 am and at 6. 00 pm.

At 6: 00 am, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
at the station is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low with a total of 90
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
.
However
, it
firmly
increases up 200 to 7: 00 am at which point the traffic witnesses a drastic plunge reaching the busiest point of the day with 400
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
. In a subsequent couple of hours, the rush relieves a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to reach 180
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
at 10: 00 am. The following two hours observe a humble rise which
eventually
reached at 280 when it, thereafter, creep to 300 from 12: 00 to 14: 00. From this moment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
arrival faces a major decline to the daily low point of less than 100 occurring at 16: 00 while it plunges again to the second maximum of 380 at 18: 00. For 18: 00 to 20: 00, traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
to around 130 and
finally
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'remain' is correct. If 'remain' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the remain
hours encountering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
fluctuation at 150.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph shows Underground Station passenger numbers in London. v. 4

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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