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The graph below shows the average salaries earned by people with different levels of education. v.1

The graph below shows the average salaries earned by people with different levels of education. v. 1
The graph shows the relationship between people’s average annual salary and educational qualification. Four educational levels with their average salary are presented in the bar graph. As a general trend, the better the educational qualification people have, the higher the salary they earn in a year. Now getting back to the details, high school diploma holders earn around 30 thousand dollars on an average in a year while Bachelor’s degree holders earn around 43 thousand dollars, which is about 31% higher than the former group. The average earning increases with the higher educational qualification as employees with Master’s degree earn approximately 49 thousand dollars annually. As can be seen, people with Master’s degree earn seven thousand more than that of Bachelor’s degree holders. Besides, professionals with the PhD earn the highest wages and their average payroll is roughly 50 thousand dollars annually, which is significantly higher than the average salary of employees with high school Diploma and Bachelor’s degree holders. So it is worth noticing that the average remuneration of people is directly related to the education qualification they have as higher education means a higher salary.
The graph
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shows
the relationship between
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people’s
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average
annual
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salary
and
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educational
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qualification
. Four
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educational
levels with their
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average
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salary
are presented
in the bar graph.

As a general trend, the better the
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educational
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qualification
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people
have, the higher the
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salary
they
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earn
in a year.

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Now
getting back to the
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details
, high school diploma
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holders
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earn
around 30 thousand
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dollars
on an
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average
in a year while Bachelor’s
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degree
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holders
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earn
around 43 thousand
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dollars
, which is about 31% higher than the former group. The
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average
earning increases with the higher
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educational
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qualification
as employees with Master’s
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degree
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earn
approximately 49 thousand
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dollars
annually
. As can be
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seen
,
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people
with Master’s
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degree
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earn
seven thousand more than that of Bachelor’s
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degree
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holders
.
Besides
, professionals with the PhD
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earn
the highest wages and their
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average
payroll is roughly 50 thousand
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dollars
annually
, which is
significantly
higher than the
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average
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salary
of employees with high school Diploma and Bachelor’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
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holders
.
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So
it is worth noticing that the
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average
remuneration of
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people
is
directly
related to the education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
they have as higher education means a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS academic The graph below shows the average salaries earned by people with different levels of education. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
187 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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