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The Graph below shows the averaged results for one of the two school trials, illustrating the substantial difference in growth rate between egg chickens and meat chickens. v.2

The Graph below shows the averaged results for one of the two school trials, illustrating the substantial difference in growth rate between egg chickens and meat chickens. v. 2
Overall, the average weight for meat chicken and layer chicken rose as the age of the chickens increased, especially after a month; the weight of both chickens grew significantly. The average weight for the meat chicken is higher than that of layer chickens. Both chicken types grew in its mean weight significantly as the age is matured, in particular after 34 days, where the average weight grew substantially for meat chickens. The meat chicken tripled its weight from over 500 grams in 20th days to over 1500 grams within fortnights, whereas the weight of layer chickens doubled from about 200 grams to around 480 grams within fortnights. By 45 days of chicken’s age, meat chicken recorded at about 2500 grams of weight, while the layer chicken grew to over 500 grams. The average weight for meat chicken was higher than that of layer chicken. The weight of meat chicken was initially big which was recorded at about 150 grams in 8 days in comparison to just 5 grams for layer chickens. By 20st days, the mean weight of meat chicken rose to over 500 grams compared to about 100 grams for layer chickens. At the age of 45, meat chicken reached at the average weight of over 2000 grams, whereas layer chicken reached at over 500 grams.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
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weight
for
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meat
chicken and
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layer
chicken rose as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of the chickens increased,
especially
after a month; the
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weight
of both chickens
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grew
significantly
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
chicken is higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
layer
chickens.

Both chicken types
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grew
in its mean
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weight
significantly
as the
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age
is matured
,
in particular
after 34 days, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grew
substantially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
chickens. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
chicken tripled its
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weight
from
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over
500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 20th days to
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over
1500
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grams
within fortnights, whereas the
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weight
of
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layer
chickens doubled from about 200
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grams
to around 480
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grams
within fortnights. By 45 days of chicken’s
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age
,
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meat
chicken recorded at about 2500
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grams
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
layer
chicken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grew
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
500 grams.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
chicken was higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
layer
chicken. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
of
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meat
chicken was
initially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
which
was recorded
at about 150
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grams
in 8 days
in comparison
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5
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grams
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
layer
chickens. By 20st days, the mean
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weight
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
chicken rose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
compared to about 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
layer
chickens. At the
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age
of 45,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
chicken reached at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
layer
chicken reached at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS academic The Graph below shows the averaged results for one of the two school trials, illustrating the substantial difference in growth rate between egg chickens and meat chickens. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
217 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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