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The graph shows data for annual sales revenue or turnover for three outdoor clothing companies from 2004 and 2014. v.1

The graph shows data for annual sales revenue or turnover for three outdoor clothing companies from 2004 and 2014. v. 1
The graph given illustrates the information in term of earning three outdoor clothing companies, namely Bradly Wear Ski and Snow Wear and Hiking Kit which were sold over the course of 10 years from 2004 to 2014. Overall, the Hiking Kit company had an upward trend in clothing income whereas there was an opposite pattern in the other cor. In 2004, The revenue of Bradly Outdoor Wear topped out at 3 million while this figure for the Ski and Snow Wear company saw a lower rate by million. At this time, just only 1, 5 million of the Hiking Fit clothes' company reached the lowest point in the yearly turnover. During a decade, the revenue of selling clothes of clothing the Hiking Kit company showed a rocket until the year 2014 witnessed a peak at 3, 5 million. Meanwhile, the opposite was true for both the Bradly and Ski and Snow. It decreased considerably after fluctuating slightly, 2, 7 million with Bradly and 0, 8 million with Ski and Snow, respectively.
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustrates the information in term of earning three outdoor clothing
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companies
,
namely
Bradly
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Wear
Ski and
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Snow
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Wear
and Hiking Kit which
were sold
over the course of 10 years from 2004 to 2014.

Overall
, the Hiking Kit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
had an upward trend in clothing income whereas there was an opposite pattern in the other cor.

In 2004, The revenue of Bradly Outdoor
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Wear
topped out at 3
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million
while this figure for the Ski and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Snow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a lower rate by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. At this time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1, 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
of the Hiking Fit
Possible spelling mistake found.
clothes&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
reached the lowest point in the yearly turnover.

During a decade, the revenue of selling clothes of clothing the Hiking Kit
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company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a rocket until the year 2014 witnessed a peak at 3, 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. Meanwhile, the opposite was true for both the Bradly and Ski and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Snow
. It decreased
considerably
after fluctuating
slightly
, 2, 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
with Bradly and 0, 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
with Ski and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Snow
,
respectively
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph shows data for annual sales revenue or turnover for three outdoor clothing companies from 2004 and 2014. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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