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The graph shows changes in the prices per kilogram of various types of bread in Europe between 2001 and 2005 v.1

The graph shows changes in the prices per kilogram of various types of bread in Europe between 2001 and 2005 v. 1
The given line graph compares and contrasts data on the cost of 4 different bread in Europe over the period from 2001 to 2005. As can be seen from the chart, there was a fluctuation in the figure of white bread and rye while the price of brown and wholemeal remained the same. In 2001, the cost of white bread is the lowest, it was about 0. 1 euro per kilogram. However, this figure increased significantly and reach the highest point of 1. 2 euro in 2002, after that, it decreased and then bounce back in 2004. Despite of the highest position in 2001, rye was passed by white bread in 2002, however, it increased significantly and peak at 1. 1 in 2005. While the cost of brown increased slight from 0. 5 to nearly 0. 6, this figure of wholemeal, was sold in Europe, maintained the same level during 4 years from 2001 to 2005.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph compares and contrasts data on the cost of 4
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
bread in Europe over the period from 2001 to 2005.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, there was a fluctuation in the figure of white bread and rye while the price of brown and wholemeal remained the same.

In 2001, the cost of white bread is the lowest, it was about 0. 1 euro per kilogram.
However
, this figure increased
significantly
and reach the highest point of 1. 2
Possible agreement error. The noun 'euro' seems to be countable, so consider using: "euros".
euro
in 2002, after that, it decreased and then bounce back in 2004.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
the highest position in 2001, rye
was passed
by white bread in 2002,
however
, it increased
significantly
and peak at 1. 1 in 2005.

“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the cost of brown increased slight from 0. 5 to
nearly
0. 6, this figure of wholemeal,
was sold
in Europe, maintained the same level during 4 years from 2001 to 2005.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS academic The graph shows changes in the prices per kilogram of various types of bread in Europe between 2001 and 2005 v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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