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The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989. v.2

The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989. v. 2
The bar chart depicts the average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the prices of the year 1989, a period of 12 years. Overall, it can be seen that the average house prices in London were shown fluctuating throughout the year. In details, the percentage of house prices in New York in between the year 1990 -1995 was accounted just 5 percent in a negative direction. However, the same percentage in New York was on the positive side between 1996 - 2002. Similarly, the average house prices in London and Tokyo (Japan) was presented in similar percentage approximately7 percent in negative in 1990-1995 where the percentage of London peaks at the highest position at 13 percent in 1996-2002 and Tokyo city house price was still observed the on the negative side at 5 percent. The percentage change in average house price of Madrid (Spain) was only 1 percent in previous 6 years but it dramatically increased 4 times in next following year. In 1990-1995 the average house price of Frankfurt (Germany) was only 2 percent but it was interesting that it declines and reached the same percentage as Madrid (Spain) at 1 percent.
The bar chart depicts the
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average
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house
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prices
in five
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different
cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the
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prices
of the
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year
1989, a period of 12 years.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
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average
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house
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prices
in London
were shown
fluctuating throughout the year.

In
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details
, the
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percentage
of
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house
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prices
in New York in between the
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year
1990 -1995
was accounted
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just
5
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percent
in a
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negative
direction.
However
, the same
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percentage
in New York was on the
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positive
side between
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
1996 - 2002
.
Similarly
, the
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average
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house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
in London and Tokyo (Japan)
was presented
in similar
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percentage
approximately7
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percent
in
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negative
in 1990-1995 where the
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percentage
of London peaks at the highest position at 13
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percent
in 1996-2002 and Tokyo city
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house
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price
was
still
observed the on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side at 5 percent.

The
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percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
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price
of Madrid (Spain) was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1
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percent
in previous 6 years
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but
it
dramatically
increased 4 times in
next
following
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year
. In 1990-1995 the
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
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price
of Frankfurt (Germany) was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2
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percent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was interesting that it declines and reached the same
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percentage
as Madrid (Spain) at 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS academic The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
199 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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