Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graph below gives information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where r v.2

The graph below gives information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010.
The line graph demonstrates the percentage of Australian population watching movie in a theathre changed from 1990 to 2010. The movie lovers are divided in four different group of various ages i. e. 14-24 y. o. , 25-34 y. o. , 35-49 y. o. , and 50 y. o. onwards. Overall, all of those populations were reported to have upwards trends with different details. \ In 1990, teens and adults aged under 25 years old became the biggest population coming to a cinema by almost 90%. Meanwhile, the three other groups were far below in about 60% of 25-49 years old, and nearly 40% of more 50 years old. Further, people aged 14-24 y. o. had a minimal increase by almost 100% in 2010, but it was still being the dominant population compared to people aged 25-34 y. o. , 35-49 y. o. , and above 50 y. o. by about 85%, more 70%, and around 60%, respectively. Finally, people aged under 25 y. o. was recorded to love attending cinema very much and was predicted to be remain on the top population of movie viewers until the year 2010.
The line graph demonstrates the percentage of Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
watching movie in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
theathre
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from 1990 to 2010. The movie lovers
are divided
in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible agreement error. The noun 'group' seems to be countable, so consider using: "groups".
group
of various ages
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
14-24 y. o.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
25-34 y. o.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
35-49 y. o.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
and 50 y. o. onwards.
Overall
, all of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
were reported
to have upwards trends with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
. \

In 1990, teens and adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
under 25 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
became the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
coming to a cinema by almost 90%. Meanwhile, the three other groups were far below in about 60% of 25-49 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, and
nearly
40% of more 50 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Further
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
14-24 y. o. had a minimal increase by almost 100% in 2010,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was
still
being the dominant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
25-34 y. o.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
35-49 y. o.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
and above 50 y. o. by about 85%, more 70%, and around 60%,
respectively
.

Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
under 25 y. o.
was recorded
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
attending cinema
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much and
was predicted
to be
Consider using a past participle here: "remained".
remain
on the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of movie viewers until the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2010.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below gives information about cinema attendance in Australia between 1990 and the present, with projections to 2010.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts