Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graph shows a comparison in the pulse rate changes between two different individuals of different ages and professions. v.1

The graph shows a comparison in the pulse rate changes between two different individuals of different ages and professions. v. 1
The line graph compares the heart beats of two individuals – Mabel, a 36 years old office worker, and Albert, a 26 years old former college athlete, during their four minute exercise period. Overall, office worker’s heart beat rate was lower before starting the exercise but in third and final minutes, his pulse rate was recorded higher. Getting back to the details, Mabel, who works in an office, has a pulse rate of roughly 62-65 per minute. Albert, on the contrary, is a former college athlete who has a pulse rate of 80 per minute. Their pulse rates changed during the workout and after one minute both of their health beats became approximately 80. When two minutes elapsed, Mabel’s pulse rate dramatically increased to around 150 while it was 120 for Albert. After three minutes of exercise, office worker Mabel’s heart beating was recorded roughly 110 while the former athlete’s pulse rate was precisely 100. After 4 minutes, both of their pulse rate dipped and it was 60 for Albert while 80 for Mabel.
The line graph compares the heart beats of two individuals
Mabel, a 36 years
old
office
worker, and Albert, a 26 years
old
former college athlete, during their four
minute
exercise period.
Overall
,
office
worker’s heart beat
rate
was lower
before
starting the exercise
but
in third and final minutes, his
pulse
rate
was recorded
higher.

Getting back to the
details
, Mabel, who works in an
office
, has a
pulse
rate
of roughly 62-65 per
minute
. Albert,
on the contrary
, is a former college athlete who has a
pulse
rate
of 80 per
minute
. Their
pulse
rates
changed
during the workout and after one
minute
both of their health beats became approximately 80. When two minutes elapsed, Mabel’s
pulse
rate
dramatically
increased to around 150 while it was 120 for Albert. After three minutes of exercise,
office
worker Mabel’s heart beating
was recorded
roughly 110 while the former athlete’s
pulse
rate
was
precisely
100. After 4 minutes, both of their
pulse
rate
dipped and it was 60 for Albert while 80 for Mabel.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph shows a comparison in the pulse rate changes between two different individuals of different ages and professions. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
174 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts