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The table below shows the leisure hours by Canadians in a year based on their age groups. v.1

The table below shows the leisure hours by Canadians in a year based on their age groups. v. 1
The table reveals data on the duration of yearly leisure activities by Canadians based on their age groups. As is obvious from the illustration, watching TV is the most popular free time activity among Canadians while young people take parts in sports and exercise more than older people do. In details, a Canadian teenager spends 1200 hours watching TV programmes in a year which is 100 hours more than that of people over 70 years old and three times than that of people in their thirties. Hours spend watching TV by teens and older people are higher than that of other age groups. Individual exercise is more popular among Canadians between 30 and 50 years as they spend 200 hours in a year, while group exercise and sports are more preferred by younger people. People over 60 do not take part in sports and groups exercise. Socialising with more people is commonly seen among younger people while adults like to have fewer people to socialise. Cinema seems like the least preferred activity as roughly 75 hours on an average is spend on this activity by all age groups.
The table reveals data on the duration of yearly leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
by Canadians based on their age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
. As is obvious from the illustration, watching TV is the most popular free time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
among Canadians while young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take parts in sports and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
more than older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, a Canadian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
1200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
watching TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
which is 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
more than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over 70 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and three times than that of
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people
in their thirties.
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Hours
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spend
watching TV by teens and older
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people
are higher than that of other age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
. Individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is more popular among Canadians between 30 and 50 years as they
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spend
200
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hours
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, while
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group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and sports are more preferred by younger
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people
.
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People
over 60 do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in sports and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Socialising' is British English.
Socialising
with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
among younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while adults like to have fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
. Cinema seems like the least preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
as roughly 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
on an average is
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
by all age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below shows the leisure hours by Canadians in a year based on their age groups. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
188 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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