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The graph compares the percentage of international and the percentage of UK students gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK University in 2009. v.1

The graph compares the percentage of international and the percentage of UK students gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK University in 2009. v. 1
The bar chart presents a comparison data between the percentages of UK and international students who achieved second class or higher degree from a UK university in 2009. It is quite obvious that more international students gained degrees from engineering and technology majors than local British students. Now getting back to the details, local UK students predominated the international students in terms of completing their second class or higher degrees from that particular university except in engineering and IT faculty. For instance, around 80% UK students got their degrees from sociology, art history and literature while the percentages of international students who achieved honours from the same subjects ranged from 65-70%. More foreign students dominated in majors related to engineering and information technology and approximately 10% more foreign students passed from these two majors than the local students who got their degrees from these faculties in the same year. Interestingly, almost an equal proportion of local and international students got their degree from nursing (roughly 78%) and accountancy (exactly 60%). Finally, merely 50% international students gained their degrees in international laws in this university against around 70% local students which represent the largest gap between the ratio of local and international degree holding students in this university.
The bar chart presents a comparison data between the percentages of UK and
international
students
who achieved second
class
or higher
degree
from a UK
university
in 2009. It is quite obvious that more
international
students
gained
degrees
from engineering and technology majors than
local
British students.

Now
getting back to the
details
,
local
UK
students
predominated the
international
students
in terms of completing their second
class
or higher
degrees
from that particular
university
except in engineering and IT faculty.
For instance
, around 80% UK
students
got
their
degrees
from sociology, art history and literature while the percentages of
international
students
who achieved
honours
from the same subjects ranged from 65-70%. More foreign
students
dominated in majors related to engineering and information technology and approximately 10% more foreign
students
passed from these two majors than the
local
students
who
got
their
degrees
from these faculties in the same year.
Interestingly
, almost an equal proportion of
local
and
international
students
got
their
degree
from nursing (roughly 78%) and accountancy (exactly 60%).
Finally
,
merely
50%
international
students
gained their
degrees
in
international
laws in this
university
against around 70%
local
students
which represent the largest gap between the ratio of
local
and
international
degree
holding
students
in this
university
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph compares the percentage of international and the percentage of UK students gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK University in 2009. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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