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The charts below show the percentage of water use for different purposes in six areas of the world. v.2

The charts below show the percentage of water use for different purposes in six areas of the world. v. 2
The data given in the pie charts compare how people use water according to three different purposes in six parts of the world. Overall, it is clear that Europeans and North American use mostly water for industry while the four remaining utilize water for farmland. On the contrary, the use of water in production made up the smallest part in these four areas. It is noticeable that there is the most significant amount of water used for agriculture in Central Asia, at 88%; whereas 5% and 7% are the percentages of water people consume on industry and household respectively. Africa and South East Asia residents also use water in farmland dramatically, at 84% and 81% separately. Nevertheless, the proportions of water used for agriculture in North America and Europe are much lower than that of these four parts, both of them are under 40%. Besides, the use of water for industry makes up approximately a half in North America and Europe. By the contrast, this water usage in the rest places occupies just under a quarter. Similarly, house chores consume small proportions of water in six areas, they are all under 20%.
The data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in the pie charts compare how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
according to three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes in six parts of the world.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Europeans and North American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for industry while the four remaining utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for farmland.
On the contrary
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in production made up the smallest part in these four areas.

It is noticeable that there is the most significant amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for agriculture in Central Asia, at 88%; whereas 5% and 7% are the percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consume on industry and household
respectively
. Africa and South East Asia residents
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in farmland
dramatically
, at 84% and 81%
separately
.
Nevertheless
, the proportions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for agriculture in North America and Europe are much lower than that of these four parts, both of them are under 40%.

Besides
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up approximately a half in North America and Europe. By the contrast, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usage in the rest places occupies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under a quarter.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in six areas, they are all under 20%.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic The charts below show the percentage of water use for different purposes in six areas of the world. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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