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The graph below shows the changes in the place where people used to surf the internet in the years 1998, 2000, 2002 and 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and makes comparisons where relevant. v.2

The graph below shows the changes in the place where people used to surf the internet in the years 1998, 2000, 2002 and 2004.
The given column graph depicts the variations in the places where folk accessed the internet between 1998 and 2004. Overall, it can be seen from the graph that more people surfed the internet at home. While people used the least internet in library. In terms of internet access, the highest proportion of folk used net surfing at home, which constituted just over a half (55%) in 1998. This ratio was almost fifth for librarian internet users compare with home user. Yet, Scenario was same but trend became invert. The proportion for home user went a little under a half (48%). and librarians user increased to just under 20%. These trends continued till 2004 and ended with 55% for home and the ratios, almost 16%, for worker and librarians in 2004 were same. On contrary, second and third places for surfing were work offices and colleges. Workers who surfed internet were higher compare with college goers. In 1998 and 2002, number of internet user were same at office and college which made up just over a quarter and 20% respectively. Internet users in 2002 at education place and working place were approximately at a quarter. In 2004, number of student internet users (around 15%) were dominated workers, which was more than 15%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
column graph depicts the variations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where folk accessed the internet between 1998 and 2004.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
surfed the internet at home.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the least internet in library.

In terms of internet access, the highest proportion of folk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
net surfing at home, which constituted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a half (55%) in 1998. This ratio was almost fifth for librarian internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
compare with home
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user
.
Yet
, Scenario was same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
trend became invert. The proportion for home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
went a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
under a half (48%).
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
librarians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
increased to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 20%. These trends continued till 2004 and ended with 55% for home and the ratios, almost 16%, for worker and librarians in 2004 were same.

On contrary, second and third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for surfing were work offices and colleges. Workers who surfed internet were higher compare with college goers. In 1998 and 2002, number of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user
were same at office and college which made up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a quarter and 20%
respectively
. Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
in 2002 at education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
were approximately at a quarter. In 2004, number of student internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
(around 15%)
were dominated
workers, which was more than 15%.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS academic The graph below shows the changes in the place where people used to surf the internet in the years 1998, 2000, 2002 and 2004.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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