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The graph below shows the weekday volume of passenger activity on the Toronto Metro system for July 2007. v.1

The graph below shows the weekday volume of passenger activity on the Toronto Metro system for July 2007. v. 1
The line graph demonstrates the passenger activities on the Toronto Metro System for a week in July 2007. The x-axis of the graph shows different hours of the day while the y-axis gives the number of passengers in thousands. Overall, it is apparent from the line graph that the highest number of passengers used the Toronto Metro System at 8 in the morning and 6 in the evening. As can be seen, the activity at Toronto Metro Station begins at 6 in the morning with the rush of 100 thousand people and a fairly similar pattern can be noticed at 4 in the evening. The Toronto Metro, in these two hours, received the lowest number of travellers. The passengers rushed in during 8 in the morning and 400 thousand of them were in this metro at that time. A similar number of passenger used this subway at 6 in the evening. Moreover, with a drastic downfall, the travellers' number reached to about 200 thousand at 10 in the morning. Moving further, after a climb to 300 thousand passengers at 12 in the noon, it stabilization till 2 pm before a significant fall at 4 pm. However, afterwards, the number kept on increasing before reaching to approximately 400, 000 at 6 in the evening. From that point, fewer passengers used the Metro and at 10 pm there were roughly 150, 000 travellers present on the Metro System.
The line graph demonstrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
activities on the Toronto
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Metro
System for a week in July 2007. The x-axis of the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
hours of the day while the y-axis gives the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
in thousands.
Overall
, it is apparent from the line graph that the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the Toronto
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Metro
System at 8 in the
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morning
and 6 in the evening.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, the activity at Toronto
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Metro
Station
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
at 6 in the
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morning
with the rush of 100 thousand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and a
fairly
similar pattern can
be noticed
at 4 in the evening. The Toronto
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Metro
, in these two hours, received the lowest
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number
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
. The
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passengers
rushed in during 8 in the
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morning
and 400 thousand of them were in this
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metro
at that time. A similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
this subway at 6 in the evening.
Moreover
, with a drastic downfall, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
'
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number
reached to about 200 thousand at 10 in the
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morning
. Moving
further
, after a climb to 300 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
at 12 in the noon,
It seems that the possessive pronoun "its" fits better in this context. Please verify.
it
stabilization till 2 pm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a significant fall at 4 pm.
However
, afterwards, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching to approximately 400, 000 at 6 in the evening. From that point, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the
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Metro
and at 10 pm there were roughly 150, 000
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
present on the
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Metro
System.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the weekday volume of passenger activity on the Toronto Metro system for July 2007. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
236 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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