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The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas. v.1

The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas. v. 1
The bar graph compares the population in five metropolitan areas during 1970 and 2010 while the table outlines the top five cities with the highest population. Finally, the line graph compares urban and rural population distribution from 1980 to 2010. Generally speaking, the population growth in Bombay and Jakarta was faster than that of other cities and Tokyo had the highest residents in 2010. Moreover, a higher number of people started living in urban areas than in rural areas after 2005. According to the bar graph, more than 15 million people lived in Tokyo in 1970 and that was higher than that of New York and Shanghai. Population in Bombay was one-third than that of Tokyo and Jakarta had only 2. 5 million residents, the least among the five cities. The population in Tokyo increased to 27. 6 million in 2010 and this was the city with the highest population. However, population growth in Bombay and Jakarta, almost 5. 5 times, was higher than any other city listed. The table data shows that New York was the most populous city in the world in 1950 with exactly 12. 5 million people. London and Tokyo stood at the second and third position in this list while Moscow with its 5. 3 million people was in 5th position. In 2010, Tokyo topped the rank followed by Bombay and Lagos. Finally, globally 3 billion people lived in rural areas in 1980 while less than 2 billion in cities. In 2010, the number of city-living-residents upsurged to over 4 billion while it was slightly over 3 in villages.
The bar graph compares the
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population
in five metropolitan
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areas
during 1970 and 2010 while the table outlines the top five
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cities
with the highest
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population
.
Finally
, the line graph compares urban and rural
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population
distribution from 1980 to 2010.

Generally
speaking, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth in Bombay and Jakarta was faster than that of other
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cities
and Tokyo had the highest residents in 2010.
Moreover
, a higher number of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
living in urban
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areas
than in rural
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areas
after 2005.

According to the bar graph, more than 15
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million
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Tokyo in 1970 and that was higher than that of New York and Shanghai.
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Population
in Bombay was one-third than that of Tokyo and Jakarta had
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only
2. 5
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million
residents, the least among the five
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cities
. The
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population
in Tokyo increased to 27. 6
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million
in 2010 and this was the city with the highest
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population
.
However
,
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population
growth in Bombay and Jakarta, almost 5. 5 times, was higher than any other city listed.

The table data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that New York was the most populous city in the world in 1950 with exactly 12. 5
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million
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people
. London and Tokyo stood at the second and third position in this list while Moscow with its 5. 3
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was in 5th position. In 2010, Tokyo topped the rank followed by Bombay and Lagos.

Finally
, globally 3 billion
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in rural
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areas
in 1980 while less than 2 billion in
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cities
. In 2010, the number of city-living-residents upsurged to over 4 billion while it was
slightly
over 3 in villages.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas. v. 1

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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