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The graph below shows the way people of some country invested their money during the years 2001-2006. v.2

The graph below shows the way people of some country invested their money during the years 2001-2006. v. 2
The graph illustrate; how, a certain country invested their money at the stock market from 2001 to 2006. Overall, the stocks were higher throughout the period above the bonds. Similarly more bond and stocks were noticeable in the same year, as well as, the least. It is of note, that the higher the stocks, the more bonds throughout given period. In terms of stocks, they were higher at 311 billion in 2006, as opposed to 188 bonds in the same year. The least amount put on the market to purchase bonds was 100 billion in 2001 and few stocks of 210 billion were available on the market in the same year. Furthermore, it can be clearly seen that, from 2001 to 2006, the stocks were doubling the prices of bonds. From 2001 to 2003, the stocks were going up gradually, but from 2004 to 2006 it began to fluctuate. The prices of bonds increased rapidly from 2001 to 2003, whilst for the last 3 years, it reduced the speed, as it rose steadily. It is of note, each year the prices of bonds and the stocks were increasing.
The graph illustrate; how, a certain country invested their money at the stock market from 2001 to 2006.

Overall
, the stocks were higher throughout the period above the bonds.
Similarly
more bond and stocks were noticeable in the same
year
,
as well
as, the least. It is of note, that the higher the stocks, the more bonds throughout
given
period.

In terms of stocks, they were higher at 311 billion in 2006, as opposed to 188 bonds in the same
year
. The least amount put on the market to
purchase
bonds was 100 billion in 2001 and few stocks of 210 billion were available on the market in the same year.

Furthermore
, it can be
clearly
seen
that, from 2001 to 2006, the stocks were doubling the prices of bonds. From 2001 to 2003, the stocks were going up
gradually
,
but
from 2004 to 2006 it began to fluctuate. The prices of bonds increased
rapidly
from 2001 to 2003, whilst for the last 3 years, it
reduced
the speed, as it rose
steadily
. It is of note, each
year
the prices of bonds and the stocks were increasing.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS academic The graph below shows the way people of some country invested their money during the years 2001-2006. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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