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The graph below shows the quarterly sales figures of Woodward chocolate bars for 2010. v.1

The graph below shows the quarterly sales figures of Woodward chocolate bars for 2010. v. 1
The provided bar graph shows sales data of Woodland chocolate for the year 2010. As is observed from the given data, Wachi Bar was the most sold chocolate bar in the first quarter of the year while the popularity of Woody bar increased over the time for the given year. According to the given bar graph, from January to March around 19 million Wuzzle chocolate bars were sold in Woodland. During this period Wachi chocolate bar was the most sold chocolate which was sold more than 55 million bars. The Wozic was the second most sold chocolate bar during this first quarter with more than 45 million sales volumes. The woody bar was the least sold item for this quarter with only 10 million sales. In the second quarter, the sales volume for all these four chocolate bars were around 20 million. Interestingly in the third quarter, both Wachi and Wozic chocolate sales volume decreased to 10 million while the Wuzzle and Woody bars’ sales increased to 40 and 30 million respectively. In the final quarter, the sales volume for Wachi chocolate bar remained unchanged as it was in the third quarter while the Woody bars’ sales volume increased by 10 million compared to the previous month. In this final quarter, the Woody bar was the highest sold chocolate type and the sales volume of this bar increased throughout the year. The Wachi bar and the Wozic bar were sold around 20 and 35 million in the final quarter. In summary, there was a common pattern of the sales volumes of the four chocolate types for the year 2010 except that the sales amount of Woody bar increased in each quarter while this volume decreased for the Wachi bar.
The provided bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
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sales
data of Woodland chocolate for the
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year
2010. As
is observed
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wachi
Bar was the most sold chocolate bar in the
first
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quarter
of the
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year
while the popularity of Woody bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
over the time for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
year.

According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph, from January to March around 19
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wuzzle
chocolate bars
were sold
in Woodland. During this period
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wachi
chocolate bar was the most sold chocolate which
was sold
more than 55
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million
bars. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wozic
was the second most sold chocolate bar during this
first
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quarter
with more than 45
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million
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sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volumes
. The woody bar was the least sold item for this
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quarter
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
. In the second
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quarter
, the
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sales
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volume
for all these four chocolate bars were around 20
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million
.
Interestingly
in the third
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quarter
, both
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wachi
and
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Wozic
chocolate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volume
decreased to 10
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million
while the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wuzzle
and Woody bars’
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sales
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increased
to 40 and 30
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million
respectively
. In the final
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quarter
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volume
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wachi
chocolate bar remained unchanged as it was in the third
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quarter
while the Woody bars’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
by 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
compared to the previous month. In this final
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quarter
, the Woody bar was the highest sold chocolate type and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volume
of this bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
throughout the
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year
. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wachi
bar and the
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Wozic
bar
were sold
around 20 and 35
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million
in the final quarter.

In summary, there was a common pattern of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volumes
of the four chocolate types for the
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year
2010 except that the
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sales
amount of Woody bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
while this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volume
decreased for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Wachi
bar.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph below shows the quarterly sales figures of Woodward chocolate bars for 2010. v. 1

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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