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The following chart illustrates the results of a British survey taken in 2005 related to Housing preferences of UK people. v.2

The following chart illustrates the results of a British survey taken in 2005 related to Housing preferences of UK people. v. 2
The given bar graph shows data on the housing preferences of UK citizens and this data was taken as part of a survey made on 2005. As is observed from the data, most of the London dwellers preferred flats while detached & semi-detached houses were more popular among the people of Oxford and Cambridge. As is presented in the bar graph, about 58% citizen of London preferred flats while less than 30% people of Oxford and Cambridge preferred flats as their housing. Interestingly people from all those three cities preferred terrace houses in a similar percentage which is around 15-18 %. Least preferred housing type for London people was detached houses which were preferred by less than 10% of London citizens while this housing type was preferred by about 25% Oxford people and 35% Cambridge people. Finally, semi-detached houses were more preferred by Oxford and Cambridge people (about 27%) and only 17% people from London preferred this sort of housing. In conclusion, the survey result summarises that flat was the most preferred housing solution for London people while Oxford and Cambridge's people preferred detached and semi-detached housing.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
data on the housing preferences of UK citizens and this data
was taken
as part of a survey made on 2005. As
is observed
from the data, most of the London dwellers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
while detached & semi-detached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
were more popular among the
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people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Oxford
and Cambridge.

As
is presented
in the bar graph, about 58% citizen of London
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preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
while less than 30%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Oxford
and Cambridge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
flats
as their housing.
Interestingly
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people
from all those three cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preferred
terrace
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houses
in a similar percentage which is around 15-18 %. Least
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preferred
housing type for London
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
was detached
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houses
which were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preferred
by less than 10% of London citizens while this housing type was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preferred
by about 25%
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Oxford
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people
and 35% Cambridge
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people
.
Finally
, semi-detached
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houses
were more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preferred
by
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Oxford
and Cambridge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(about 27%) and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
17%
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people
from London
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preferred
this sort of housing.

In conclusion
, the survey result
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarises' is British English.
summarises
that
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flat
was the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preferred
housing solution for London
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Oxford
and Cambridge's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
preferred
detached and semi-detached housing.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS academic The following chart illustrates the results of a British survey taken in 2005 related to Housing preferences of UK people. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
187 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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