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The diagram shows the consumption of renewable energy in the USA from 1949-2008. v.2

The diagram shows the consumption of renewable energy in the USA from 1949-2008. v. 2
The given line graph shows the main sources through which renewable energy is produced in the USA and also tells about its total consumption from 1949 to 2008. Water and timbers have been the main means of producing energy. Initially, from 1950 to 1960 the energy provided by them has approximately been same being 2 Quadrillion BTU, but from 1960 to 1980, the production of hydroelectric power doubled than fuel provided by wood. This increased trend of making energy through water is consistent with the total energy usage. The generation of energy through biofuels and wind was introduced in 1980. Since then, they have made a contribution of less than 1 Quadrillion BTU in the production of total energy. Yet this is a significant contribution as the overall consumption of energy increased in subsequent years reaching up to a maximum of 7 Quadrillion BTU by 2008. It just dipped in 2000 because hydroelectric power also decreased during this time, but then they both rose again. The changing trends in gross energy consumption are consistent with the generation of hydroelectric power signifying it as the major source of energy production. Wood has been the second most important source, while biofuels and wind made little contributions.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the main sources through which renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is produced
in the USA and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
about its total consumption from 1949 to 2008.

Water and timbers have been the main means of producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
Initially
, from 1950 to 1960 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
provided by them has approximately been same being 2 Quadrillion BTU,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from 1960 to 1980, the production of hydroelectric power
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
doubled
than fuel provided by wood. This increased trend of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
through water is consistent with the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
usage. The generation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
through biofuels and wind
was introduced
in 1980. Since then, they have made a contribution of less than 1 Quadrillion BTU in the production of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
Yet
this is a significant contribution as the
overall
consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
increased in subsequent years reaching up to a maximum of 7 Quadrillion BTU by 2008. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
dipped in 2000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
hydroelectric power
also
decreased during this time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then they both rose again.

The changing trends in gross
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption are consistent with the generation of hydroelectric power signifying it as the major source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
production. Wood has been the second most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source, while biofuels and wind made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
contributions.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The diagram shows the consumption of renewable energy in the USA from 1949-2008. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
204 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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