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The graph show below the air conditioning unit sales in two different countries over amounts between April 2010 and October 2010. v.2

The graph show below the air conditioning unit sales in two different countries over amounts between April 2010 and October 2010. v. 2
The bar graph highlight the number of air conditioning unit were sold in Australia and Uk over a seven months period from April to October 2010. Overall, what stand out graph is that in general, while Australia AC sales witnessed a decline before rising after July, the number of AC unit sold in the month of may these two countries purchased an equal number of air conditioning units. With regarding to the sales of AC in UK month of April was collape up. about 45 thousands. In the month of June sales were surprisingly changed. Furthermore, April and September was remainly constant and in last months sales were go down. Turning to, Australia were country which sold the maximum AC in month of April it was near about 3 thousand sale. Afterward four months slightly decline. Additionally in July sales reached at least the 1000. Next in August it cross the 3 thousand remarkably changed in the sales. Finally then, in October sales were reached at the top level at 5 thousand.
The bar graph highlight the number of air conditioning unit
were sold
in Australia and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
over a seven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
period from April to October 2010.

Overall
, what stand out graph is that
in general
, while Australia AC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
witnessed a decline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
rising after July, the number of AC unit sold in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of may these two countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
an equal number of air conditioning units.

With
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of AC in UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of April was
Possible spelling mistake found.
collape
up. about 45 thousands. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of June
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
were
surprisingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
Furthermore
, April and September was
Possible spelling mistake found.
remainly
constant and in last months

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
sales
were
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
go
down.

Turning to, Australia were country which sold the maximum AC in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of April it was near about 3 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
. Afterward four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
slightly
decline.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
in July
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
reached at least the 1000.
Next
in August it
Did you mean "crosses"?
cross
the 3 thousand
remarkably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
Finally
then, in October
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
were reached
at the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
at 5 thousand.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS academic The graph show below the air conditioning unit sales in two different countries over amounts between April 2010 and October 2010. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
172 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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