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The graph below shows the proportion of renewable energy of the totalsupply in 2000, 2004 and 2007. v.2

The graph below shows the proportion of renewable energy of the totalsupply in 2000, 2004 and 2007. v. 2
The bar chart compares the percentage of the energy resources which can be renewed with the entire supply in four different regions in three seperate year. Overall, the level of renewable energy in Norway and Germany raised during this period while this in the other nations fluctuated. Norway was the country where had the highest proportion of sustainable energy among four countries, with about 61%, 65% and 78% in 2003, 2004 and 2007 respectively. The amount of this kind of energy increased slightly from abut 12% in 2000 to 18% in 2007. Unlike Norway and Germany, the other areas had the most renewable energy in 2004 which accounted for nearly 60% and 10% in Iceland and Australia properly. In Iceland, this figure went up from more 50% in 2000 to nearly 60% in 2004, then it decreased to 55% in 2007. The amount of renewable energy also fluctuated around 9% in three years.
The bar chart compares the percentage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources which can
be renewed
with the entire supply in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions in three
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperate
year.
Overall
, the level of renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in Norway and Germany raised during this period while this in the other nations fluctuated.

Norway was the country where had the highest proportion of sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
among four countries, with about 61%, 65% and 78% in 2003, 2004 and 2007
respectively
. The amount of this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
increased
slightly
from abut 12% in 2000 to 18% in 2007.

Unlike Norway and Germany, the other areas had the most renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in 2004 which accounted for
nearly
60% and 10% in Iceland and Australia
properly
. In Iceland, this figure went up from more 50% in 2000 to
nearly
60% in 2004, then it decreased to 55% in 2007. The amount of renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
also
fluctuated around 9% in three years.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the proportion of renewable energy of the totalsupply in 2000, 2004 and 2007. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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