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The chart below shows the proportion of renewable energy in total enrgy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The chart below shows the proportion of renewable energy in total enrgy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010
A glance at the graph provide reveal the percentage of renewable energy in total energy supply in Australia, Sweden, Iceland, Turkey between 1997 and 2010. Overall, it is evident that Iceland and Sweden witnessed a increase while Turkey and Australia saw the opposite trend. Looking more details, the figure in Iceland was far more higher than any countries listed which is cited by approximately 50 percents in 1997, then rose up to 60 percents 2000 and increased to 70 percents in 2010. Similar to Iceland was Sweden. The proportion started at somewhere at the vincinity of 10 percents, climbed up higher and ended at nearly 10 percent in 1997, 2000, 2010 respectively. In stark of contrast, Turkey and Australia saw a decrease. In Turkey, the data fluctuated, from 40 percents in 1997, it slightly increased to over 40 percents which plumped to 30 percents in the next 10 years. Austraila was follwed by with nearly 10 percents in 1997, gradually fell to just half of 10 percents in 2000 and 2010.
A glance at the graph provide reveal the percentage of renewable energy in total energy supply in Australia, Sweden, Iceland, Turkey between 1997 and 2010.

Overall
, it is evident that Iceland and Sweden witnessed
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
increase while Turkey and Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the opposite trend.

Looking more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the figure in Iceland was far
Use only "higher" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more higher
than any countries listed which
is cited
by approximately 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
in 1997, then rose up to 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
2000 and increased to 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
in 2010. Similar to Iceland was Sweden. The proportion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at somewhere at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
vincinity
of 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
, climbed up higher and ended at
nearly
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 1997, 2000, 2010
respectively
.

In stark of contrast, Turkey and Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a decrease. In Turkey, the data fluctuated, from 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
in 1997, it
slightly
increased to over 40
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percents
which plumped to 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
in the
next
10 years.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Austraila
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
follwed
by with
nearly
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
in 1997,
gradually
fell to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
half of 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percents
in 2000 and 2010.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The chart below shows the proportion of renewable energy in total enrgy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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