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The charts below show the percentages of time used on different activities in an American office in 1980 and 2006. Summarize the information by selectin and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The charts below show the percentages of time used on different activities in an American office in 1980 and 2006.
The two pie charts compare the time cost of some activities when people working in office in 1980 and 2006. Obviously, computers become more importance during these decades and in 2006 the workers spend the most time in using it. In 1980, half of the time in the office was occupied by paper documents and phones, which 20% and 30% respectively. About 20% of working hours were spent in meeting. Only 2% of office hours were spent on computer work, and the rest time were divided nearly equally by talking and other activities. However, computer became the most popular and it occupied 30% of time in all after decades. With the increase of using computer in office, the time of using phone and paper document has both decrease, and in 2006 they dropped into 15% and 10% respectively. Also, meeting experienced a sharper decline to 6% in 2006. Besides, a new Email activity emerged in 2006, taking up 8% of the time. And only talking activities had no effect with the time goes by, stay at the same whether in 1980 or 2006.
The two pie charts compare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
cost of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
in 1980 and 2006.
Obviously
, computers become more importance during these decades and in 2006 the workers spend the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in using it.

In 1980, half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
was occupied
by paper documents and phones, which 20% and 30%
respectively
. About 20% of working hours
were spent
in meeting.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
2% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
hours
were spent
on computer work, and the rest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
were divided
nearly
equally
by talking and other activities.

However
, computer became the most popular and it occupied 30% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in all after decades. With the increase of using computer in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of using phone and paper document has both decrease, and in 2006 they dropped into 15% and 10%
respectively
.
Also
, meeting experienced a sharper decline to 6% in 2006.

Besides
, a new Email activity emerged in 2006, taking up 8% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
talking activities had no effect with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
goes by, stay at the same whether in 1980 or 2006.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The charts below show the percentages of time used on different activities in an American office in 1980 and 2006.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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