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The chart shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010 v.2

The chart shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010 v. 2
The bar chart illustrates the information about renewable energy used in four major nations between 1997 and 2010. Overall, there was a upward trend in using renewable energy in Sweden and Iceland, whereas Australia saw a downward tendency over the given period. The amount of renewable energy in Iceland made up for the largest proportion in comparison with other nations. In 1997, approximately a half of renewable energy was harnessed in Iceland, which was the largest figure. The number continued increasing and peaked at over 70 per cent after 13 years, followed by Turkey, where the amount of this energy constituted for around 38 per cent during the shown period, even though there are some fluctuations throughout the period. Australia and Sweden showed the different trend, although they together made up for under 10 percent over 13 years. While the amount of renewable energy in Australia was gradually decreased, Sweden saw a increased figured.
The bar chart illustrates the information about
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renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in four major nations between 1997 and 2010.

Overall
, there was
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
upward trend in using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in Sweden and Iceland, whereas Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a downward tendency over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in Iceland made up for the largest proportion
in comparison
with other nations.

In 1997, approximately a half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
was harnessed
in Iceland, which was the largest figure. The number continued increasing and peaked at over 70 per cent after 13 years, followed by Turkey, where the amount of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
constituted for around 38 per cent during the shown period,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations throughout the period.

Australia and Sweden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
trend, although they together made up for under 10 percent over 13 years. While the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in Australia was
gradually
decreased, Sweden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
increased figured.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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William Gibson

IELTS academic The chart shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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